Tuesday, January 11, 2011

YOU had a bad day?!

   Normally, my life is pretty darn good. Even not normally, my life is pretty good (it makes sense if you don’t think about it too much). However, on those “not normally” days, I feel like my life is over and that giving up right then and there is the best option. Well today, a “not normally” day, I had an astounding epiphany. Allow me to explain.

·         I found out today that I didn’t get a job that I had applied and interviewed for.
·         I realized today how out of money I really am. People say that money doesn’t buy happiness... but if I had money, I would be pretty dang happy.
·         I noticed today that my car is nearly out of gas and because of my “out of money” realization, I can’t afford to fill it.
·         I forgot my wallet today when I went to the grocery store. All I needed was some milk and some toothpaste and I forgot my wallet.
·         I was told today that I have to wait until October to get my associates degree (which really isn’t that big of a deal – although, now I’m going to have to revise one of my resolutions…) and that it will cost money – money that I don’t have.

Okay, now on to the epiphany!

   I called my mom when I got back from the grocery store. I was upset and frustrated and stressed. I just didn’t know what to do. I was seriously ready to “give up right there and then”. My mother is much more level-headed than I am, and she told me repeatedly that everything was going to be okay and that I need to not “give up right then and there”. She gave me names of people to talk to about getting a job; she told me not to worry about the associate’s degree and that it doesn’t matter when it comes, just as long as it does; she offered to help me out financially until I get a job. Basically she saved me.

   Around 9:00 tonight, my roommate came in and told me that our friend’s mom had just passed away. I honestly felt guilty for thinking that my day had been so horrible. If I wasn’t able to talk to my mom today, I probably would’ve chopped all my hair off, slashed my own tires, and purposely started my apartment on fire – you know, like a “Wild Child!” I would’ve given up right then and there if she hadn’t been there to talk some sense in to me. I realize now that, no matter how bad my day was today – no matter how frustrated or stressed I was – other people are out there dealing with bigger, harder things than a dumb old empty gas tank and a belated associate’s degree. I don’t know about everyone else, but I’ve finally realized how much I take for granted – like a little bit of advice from my mom, or the peanut butter and honey that I can’t stop eating (not on a sandwich – just off of a butter knife. Delish!).

   Okay. That’s the end of my epiphany. I’m going to try real, real hard from here on out to stop taking things for granted. Maybe I should add that to my constantly increasing list of resolutions…

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Welcome to my Friday night.

   Remember how I have that goal to make more friends? This is why. Lately, I've been obsessed with making the perfect Pumpkin Pie. However, last night I went a different direction - chocolate cupcakes. It's Friday night and I am home alone - baking. Yes, I really was baking. About 2 1/2 cups of cocoa and sugar later and viola! Delicious home made chocolate cupcakes! So much for my "eating healthier" goal... At least I was being productive, right?
   I didn't have enough cocoa to make the entire frosting recipe so I cut it in half, which required me to get kind of creative. I say "kind of" because I mostly just copied those little hostess cupcakes... Here are the recipes for the cupcakes and the frosting. I just found them online, but they really are so delish. I feel like I gain 10 pounds every time I eat one because of the frosting, but they are just so good that I keep eating them! Anyway, here you go...

Devil’s Food Cupcake Ingredients:

  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 2/3 cup unsweetened natural cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 cups granulated sugar
  • 2 extra large eggs
  • 1 cup whole milk
  • ½ cup flavorless vegetable oil
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 2 Tablespoon espresso powder dissolved in 1 cup boiling water

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Line cupcake pans with 24 cupcake liners.
Sift flour, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and sugar together into a medium bowl.
Combine the egg, milk, oil, vanilla, and dissolved espresso powder in a medium bowl and whisk by hand until well mixed. Pour wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and whisk to combine.
Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups, filling them about half full.
Bake for about 15-20 minutes, until the cupcakes are puffed and feel springy. Let cool completely in the pan on a wire rack.


**The only things I did different were: I dissolved 2 tablespoons of cocoa in 1 cup of boiling water instead of espresso powder. I also added a little bit of extra vanilla - maybe 1 teaspoon extra. Oh, and I also used 1% milk instead of whole milk, you know, to make them more healthy. 


Chocolate Buttercream Icing Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup solid vegetable shortening
  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened
  • 3/4 cup cocoa or three 1 oz. unsweetened chocolate squares, melted
  • 1 teaspoon clear vanilla extract
  • 4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar (approximately 1 lb.)
  • 3-4 tablespoons milk
Makes: About 3 cups of icing

Directions:
Stiff Consistency: In large bowl, cream shortening and butter with electric mixer. Add cocoa and vanilla. Gradually add sugar, one cup at a time, beating well on medium speed. Scrape sides and bottom of bowl often. When all sugar has been mixed in, icing will appear dry. Add milk and beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Keep bowl covered with a damp cloth until ready to use. For best results, keep icing bowl in refrigerator when not in use. Refrigerated in an airtight container, this icing can be stored 2 weeks. Re-whip before using.
For Thin (Spreading) Consistency Icing: Add 3-4 tablespoons light corn syrup, water or milk.


**I cut this recipe in half except for the milk - I still used 3 tablespoons of milk, and it was fluffy and delicious. Then, I put it in a ziploc bag, cut one little corner off and squeezed the frosting through the little hole to decorate the cupcakes. Also, I used the regular dark brown vanilla and it worked just fine. Also again, as a side note, "confectioner's sugar" is really powdered sugar - I didn't know that before... Oh yeah - I made the "stiff consistency" icing. Okay. That's all.


Well, I hope you enjoy chocolate cupcakes - 24 of them to be exact. And I also hope that you are never so bored on a Friday night that you resort to baking chocolate cupcakes with no one for company except your two dogs. And dogs can't even talk so they don't make for very good company.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Let's be real, okay?

I’ve been really hesitant about writing down my “new year’s resolutions” this year. In all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever written them down… This year is a different story, though. You see, in years past, I never really wanted to write them down. I guess I just didn’t see the point. However, I’ve been hearing a lot lately that if you write your goals down, you are much more likely to accomplish them.  So I figured I’d give it a shot. The one thing that has kept me from doing this sooner (like on New Year’s), is that I have so many things that I want to accomplish, and let’s be real, okay? They are tough. At least to me they are. There is a great possibility that I am just weaker than everyone else… but that doesn’t matter! These are my goals, okay?!

Moving on…

I’ve decided to save myself from justifying my “goal breaking” in the future, by justifying them now. That way, in the future, I won’t be breaking any goals when I decide to eat an extra cookie every once in a while or when I really am too tired to wake up for that miserable 9:30 class of mine. The reason you all get to know my goals and guidelines is because these are really things I want to accomplish this year. If you write a goal down, you are that much more likely to accomplish it. So what if anyone who wants to can read your goals? That’s got to give me an even better chance at this. And trust me, I’m going to need all the “much more likely’s” and “better chances” I can get.  So here’s to hoping!

1.      Eat healthier
At first, I was going to try and cut junk food completely out of my diet, but let’s be real, okay? There is no way I can go a year with absolutely no junk food… well, I guess I could if there were a good enough incentive. So the goal is simply to eat healthier than I did this past year – and if I’m being honest, that probably won’t be too difficult.
2.      Exercise often
I made a bet with Ashlin, Valery, and Mike. Whoever has a six pack by the time Scout Camp comes, wins. Ashlin and I tried this last year… yeah, neither of us won. But we are serious this time!  And now it’s written down, er, typed in! And there are names and everything! (I’m pretty sure Mike already had a six pack when we made this bet… ). The goal is to exercise at least enough to get a six pack by June 12th.
3.      Earlier bed time
Man, last semester was the hardest one of my life! And it’s all because I never got to bed before like, 3:00 in the morning! It was terrible and it led to some terrible consequences. But, let’s be real, okay? I’m a college student – staying up late is part of the job (if you can call that a job). The goal is to be in bed before midnight at least four nights a week.
4.      Stop skipping class
This is one of those terrible consequences I was just talking about! And it led to even more terrible consequences. I tried to schedule my classes for later in the afternoon, but one thing led to another and now I have a class at 9:30 in the morning. I know, I know, “Try getting up for a 7:30 class”. Remember that thing I said earlier about me being weaker than most people?  The goal is to skip no more than two classes (as in, two of each class).
5.      Get a job
Well, pretty much my life depends on this one… maybe it should be higher up on the list. Thankfully, I’ve got tuition covered. Eating, however, is another story. The goal is to have a job by the end of January... and keep it!
6.      No caffeine
I was going to try for no soda, but let’s be real, okay? (This is another example of my “weakness”). I live for Dr. Pepper, so we’ll see how this one goes. The goal is seriously, to not drink any caffeinated drinks for the entire year.
7.      Save money
I took a Family Finance (or Financial Family, as I liked to call it) class last semester that kind of opened my eyes to finance… and the fact that I have a mere $75.00 in my savings account. I know, that’s going to get me REAL far in life, right? Also, this is pretty much entirely (can I say that?) dependent on Goal #5: Get a job.  The goal is to save up enough money to pay my parents back and then enough to go to Australia next year with the fam, and then enough to buy a car, and then enough to – nope, I’m stopping before this one becomes too unrealistic.
8.      No fast food
This will certainly help with Goal #1, Goal #3, and Goal #7. How will not eating fast food help me get to bed earlier, you ask? Well, in the year and a half that I have been going to college, 2:00 AM McDonald’s runs have become a pretty regularly occurring thing. But they must stop!  So, the goal is to completely cut fast food from my diet. Let’s be real, okay? I’m not as hopeful about this one as I should be…PS. Chinese food doesn't count.
9.      Pay back parents
School costs money, ya know? Money that I don’t have. It’s true: $75.00 is NOT enough to pay for tuition, books, fees, housing, food, gas, etc.  I’m pretty stringent on borrowing money from people – I hate it. And as painful as it was for me to ask my parents to help me out, I couldn’t bear to even think about asking the government. The goal is to be completely out of my parent’s debt by the end of the year.
10.   Get associates degree
16 more credits – that is all I need. If I go to bed earlier, I won’t skip class as often, and then, I’ll be able to get this bad boy! The goal is to get my associates degree in May of this year.
11.   Make friends
Yeah, I’m even less hopeful about this one than I am the fast food one….
12.   Stop popping knuckles
Even less hopeful about this one. That’s why these ones are at the bottom…
13.   BLOG
One reason I can’t sleep (aside from the 2:00 AM McDonald’s runs) is because I can’t stop thinking. It’s horrible. My mind is always racing. So, maybe if I write down what is racing through my head, I’ll be able to sleep. I don’t want this to be super specific, so the goal it just to blog as much as is necessary for a full night’s sleep.

Well there you have it. I wish you all luck with your resolutions… and I wish myself luck with mine – like I said, I’m going to need it.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Real Reason to Celebrate

Sunday, December 12, 2010. Allie convinced me to go to church – not that I needed convincing. I have a number of irrational fears, one of which has to do with being alone in places where normal people have friends, i.e. church. It’s not that I don’t have friends… okay, yes it is. I figured that if there was one place that God would bless me with friends, it would be at church. I was right. Allie is a good, righteous, social gal who happens to be in the ward choir. Before Allie went to sit on the stand to share her beautiful voice (in a solo!), she told a Miss Emily Dutson that I would sit by her. I’d met Emily a couple of times, but we didn't really know each other. Allie loved her though. After I sat down next to Emily, Allie took her place on the stand with the rest of the choir. Emily and I talked a little bit before the meeting started. She was honestly, one of the nicest people I had ever talked to. She seemed genuinely interested in my answers to her questions.

“Have I already asked you how many friends you have?” She asked me, after a brief pause in our conversation.

Normally, it takes people a little longer to notice that I don’t have very many friends. Boy she caught on fast. Is it really that obvious? It’s because Allie told her that I’d sit next to her while she was singing with the choir. Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing.

“Well, I don’t really get out very much. I mean, I’m not really shy, I’m just not very social. I have a couple of friends who go up here who worked at scout camp with me, but I don’t go to very many ward activities, so I don’t know very many people in our ward…” and so on.

After I finished rambling about my lack of friends, I looked over at Emily. She had this really confused look on her face.

“So you don’t have very many finals?”

That conversation definitely made it into my top 5 most embarrassing moments. After I told Emily what I thought she had said, she briefly laughed with me and then she was very polite in acting like I didn’t just spend the last three minutes coming up with excuses as to why I don’t have any friends. Like I said, one of the nicest and easiest people to talk to.

~*~

Thursday, December 23, 2010. Emily Dutson was taken off of life support earlier tonight. Last Friday, less than a week after we had become friends, she was in a head on car collision with her mother, who was killed at the scene. Emily was leaving to serve an LDS mission in Toronto, Canada on January 19, 2011.

I kept thinking about that car crash, wondering how God could do this to her family. It’s two days before Christmas and they just lost their mother and sister – wife and daughter. I was so confused by this that I didn’t even cry. Like, “Yeah right. God wouldn’t do that. Tomorrow, we’re going to get the news that this was all a joke and Emily and her mother are both fine”.

I realize now that that’s not how it works.

We celebrate Christmas for a reason. It’s the birthday of our Savior – our Savior who came into this life for us. He gave his own life for us – so that we can be with our families and loved ones forever. Emily isn’t gone – not really. Because of Jesus Christ, she’ll always be with us. That is a real reason to celebrate. 

Monday, December 20, 2010

Side walk cracks

teaching lessons
from caught high heels
or stubbed toes.
sheltering potato bugs
from pinching fingers
racing bike tires
or ants
from stomping feet.
taming the boredom
of our raging minds
as we walk
counting
avoiding
as we all secretly do.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Parachutes

**This is an "essay" I wrote for one of my friends Psych labs last year - it was meant as a complete joke, but he turned it in anyways.... And just so you know, he didn't get any credit for it. Writing it was pretty amusing though.    

      The other day, I was riding in a jet at 33,000 feet. I was training for a secret mission that cannot be disclosed here. Eventually the jet lost an engine because a gnat flew into it and made it explode. I had to jump out and eventually I was able to open my parachute otherwise I would be dead right now. As a released my parachute, I got whiplash (I found out after I landed that I would need to wear a ridiculous neck brace). Before I landed, I saw where I was directed, and I was headed right towards the bears lair of the local neighborhood zoo. I feared for my life, so I blew air up into the parachute and was able to change directions. I ended up landing in the alligators swamp. I quickly untied myself from the parachute and proceeded to walk across the water on the alligators noses. The alligators were snapping, shoes were flying off, “and then the fists were flying and the other guy grabs a brick” (Horton Hears a Who!). Eventually, I made it out of the swamp with only my right leg missing. I considered myself rather fortunate to have survived at all. As I was making my way to the exit of the zoo, a group of girl scouts surrounded me. They threatened to beat me up if I didn't buy their cookies. They were such a nasty looking group of girls that I just had to give them all my money. I basically had no choice. I didn't even get my cookies. Then, a koala bear came out of nowhere! It was fat and mean looking, so naturally, I took it home with me. I classically conditioned it to bring me salami every morning when my alarm went off. After a few weeks of this, my koala bear died because my neighbor shot it with his sniper rifle. See, we were training for the same secret mission that day that I was in the jet and crashed because a gnat flew into the engine and made it explode. My neighbor lost his eye. Yeah. Then my neighbor and I played a thrilling game of monopoly. I won and then my neighbor had to buy me a yacht. But I didn't have any water to put it in so I put it in my bath tub. It was a really big bath tub, you see. Eventually, I found some parachutes in my yacht and they reminded me of the day I parachuted out of the jet at 33,000 feet and landed in the alligator swamp of our local neighborhood zoo. A few days later, I was doing some observational research while observing a pride of lions in Africa. Africa is a beautiful place, you see. I spent many a day on a safari there while I observed this pride of lions. Then, one day, one of the lions attacked me! I tried to run for my life, but I only had one leg because the other was gnawed off by alligators! The lion bit off my ear! Now I’m a man with only one leg and one ear!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Amaar and Sophie Make a Discovery!

**So, this is a story I wrote for my Islamic Visual Cultures class. I'll let you know next week if I passed. PS It is meant to be a children's story.     

     Amaar stood outside the large gleaming blue and gold building. He knew this place well, for he had been coming here since his childhood. The building was beautiful – Amaar had always thought that – yet it was so different from most other buildings he had seen.  It was within the walls of this very building that Amaar had decided that he wanted to become and architect. When his mother asked him, “Why an architect?” he replied with, “I want to build buildings as beautiful and significant as the Dome of the Rock and the Taj Mahal!”  Though, at the time, that answer seemed perfectly sound, now that he was standing so close to the beautiful building, he couldn’t figure out why it was shaped so differently. Amaar decided right then and there that he would solve this mystery and that when he did, he would be able to build buildings just like the Dome of the Rock and the Taj Mahal! With new resolve, Amaar began walking into the Dome of the Rock, hoping to find someone who could answer his questions.
~*~
     Sophie roamed the halls of the Dome of the Rock almost as confused as when she first arrived nearly three hours ago.  She had left her home in Burlington, New Jersey only two days before with the hopes of finding some sort of connection between the more common religions in America, such as Catholicism and Mormonism and that of the Muslims. She had figured that since the Dome of the Rock was the holiest place in Jerusalem, she would start there – however, it was not proving to be as helpful as she thought it would be. Finally, after deciding that she would try again tomorrow, Sophie left the cool comfort of the Dome of the Rock without even bothering to put all the books and papers she was carrying into her backpack. Squinting in the bright light of the sun, Sophie tried to hurry through the maze of people wandering outside the Dome of the Rock, wanting to get home as soon as possible. However, before she could get very far, she tripped! All the books and papers she had been carrying flew from her arms and scattered all around her. Embarrassed and slightly angry with herself, she began to pick up all of her belongings, only to notice a young boy helping her.

“Thank you for your help.” She said to the boy as she reached for the book he was holding. The boy however, did not hand her the book. Sophie then noticed that the book was flipped open to a page comparing a Mormon temple and a Catholic cathedral and that the boy was staring very intently at the two buildings

“They are beautiful buildings, aren’t they?” She said when she realized that the boy must be interested in them.

“Their shapes are very curious.” replied the boy.

“Yeah, most religious buildings in America are a bit different from other buildings – just like the Dome of the Rock. You don’t really see very many octagonal buildings, do you?” asked Sophie.

     The young boy then told her that his name was Amaar and that he wanted to know why these buildings were shaped so differently. Sophie agreed to help Amaar, hoping that some of her own questions might get answered as well.
~*~
      Amaar decided that the best place to start would be with one of his favorite teachers from school. Mr. Khalil had been teaching math at the local school for several years. He was particularly fond of Amaar, and agreed to help him and Sophie with their quest.
     Mr. Khalil looked at the pictures of the LDS temples, Catholic Cathedrals, the Dome of the Rock, and the Taj Mahal trying to find some sort of reoccurring theme in all the oddly shaped buildings. For a long time he looked at the pictures of the buildings from the three different religions. Then, after what seemed like hours to Amaar and Sophie, Mr. Khalil finally looked up at the two of them, a huge smile adorning his face. The thing he did next slightly shocked the two students, for it was something neither of them would have even thought about doing. Mr. Khalil took a ruler and a black marker from one of the drawers in his desk and drew a thick black line down the middle of each of the buildings.

“Do you know what this means?” Mr. Khalil asked Amaar and Sophie.

“That I’m going to have to pay the library for these books?” asked Sophie, slightly worried.

“It means that all of these buildings are symmetrical!” replied Mr. Khalil. “See? Each building is exactly the same on each side of the black line!”

Mr. Khalil was clearly excited about this discovery, yet Amaar and Sophie were still very confused.

“I read this article a couple days ago,” Mr. Khalil said. “It explained that unity is the principle meaning behind symmetry.”

“That means that the architects of these buildings didn’t just come up with weird designs! They were using architecture to represent unity in their religions!” exclaimed Amaar.

“All three of these religions use geometry, symmetry, and unity in their architecture! I’ve found the connection I’ve been looking for!” rejoiced Sophie.
~*~
     And so it was. Amaar went on to discover that the Dome of the Rock was built by Muslims on Temple Mount following the conquering of Jerusalem after a four hundred year Christian rule. It was built in the shape of an octagon to represent the power of unity in the Islamic religion. Amaar also learned that the Taj Mahal was built symmetrically to respect the Emperor Shah Jahan’s dead wife and to show the unity of the two lovers. He went on to become a very influential Islamic architect.
     Sophie went back home to Burlington and was able to explain to all of her friends and family that the Islamic religion is not that different from the more common religions in America. She went on to become a professor of “Religions throughout the World” at a college close to her home. Oh, and she did end up paying for those library books.