Confessions of a bored girl who likes to over share information about herself.

I am bored and in the mood to confess some super awesome things about myself to the world wide web.

When I'm alone in my car, I listen to the same song on a CD over and over and over again. For weeks. No joke, the same song. Confession within a confession (confession-ception?): I don't just listen to it - I blast it super loud and sing along. It's one of my more flattering attributes. Jk, it's actually really unattractive.

I am a master justify-er. I can justify my way out of/into anything. Stats class tonight? I'm really tired, and I can look up the concepts on youtube. Besides, it's snowing, and I hate driving in the snow. Attractive guy working at the grocery store? I am in great need of chapstick. Super cute coat not on clearance? Well, I didn't spend that much on food this month, so I can afford it. Seriously, if you ever need anything justified, give me a call. 

I love hot fudge. Homemade hot fudge. Plain. Sometimes I sit at home and eat bowls of homemade hot fudge while watching reruns of HIMYM or Grey's Anatomy. Like tonight. That just happened/is still happening. It's actually like, any sort of liquid chocolate (not hot coco, though. Like, thick liquid chocolate). One time, I melted some Hershey's candy bars in the microwave. Delish. 

(This one is newly discovered) I am incredibly self conscious of my voice. As in, I think I sound like a man pretty much all the time. When I'm sick, when I'm tired, after I yell a lot, when I loose my voice, when I sing, etc. I think I'm going to make a goal to not be so self conscious of my voice (it's really that bad).

I watch the same TV shows over and over again (just like music... wow). For example: I've watched all 8 complete seasons of Grey's Anatomy at least 4 times. How I Met Your Mother, Vampire Diaries, The Big Bang Theory, I watch them all repeatedly. I can't help it, I guess I just like routine? If anyone has any TV shows they enjoy, I would love some new suggestions. 

I am normally a nice person. The exceptions? When I'm hungry and when I'm stressed. I should probably just wear a sign on my forehead that says "I apologize for any unkind words spoken out of stress or hunger." It's really that bad. If I ever speak unkindly to you, I am probably either very hungry or very stressed, so please be patient with me. When I do get upset, I don't stay upset for very long (like, a half hour is my record).

I buy an orange julius like, at least 3 times a week. 

I am so scared of spiders to the point that they actually make me cry. I was hiking in Zion and I saw a tarantula. Cue complete meltdown... in front of 14 other people - friends and strangers alike. It was horrible and terrifying. The only thing on my "Future Husband Must Have" list = the ability to kill spiders.

I definitely over use the words "lovely", "oh man", "no kidding".

If any of you have gotten this far (even my closest friends have told me that they "kind of skim" my blog - it's cool), then I think you are lovely (see, I told you). And now it is bed time. Good night, loves. 

PS: I am fully aware of the fact that I used the phrase "it's really that bad" at least twice in this post. 

Together again at last.

The Five Stages of Grief (Part 1)

The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance.

We meet again.

Denial has been taking over my mind for days now - maybe even weeks. Your Grandma is not feeling good. Your Grandma is not eating. Your Grandma is having a hard time breathing. She'll be fine. She'll get through this - she always does. Your Grandma is only going to get worse. Your Grandma only has a few days left - it could be tonight even, or tomorrow.

Oh.

This is real. This is happening again. Anger. Raging anger. Because your Grandma is gone. Because this women you have looked up to for your whole life is actually gone. I've always noticed that bad things tend to happen to good people. Dad, doesn't that make you wonder when it will be our turn? Now. Our turn is now.  Here is a horrible, difficult, impossible part of life. Now deal with it.

But not without God's help.

And that lessens the anger a little bit.

Bargaining is not part of my grieving process - it never has been. It feels... tacky. Everything happens for a reason, so why questions God's motives. Instead, just cry. Cry, and cry, and cry. Cry until you think there are no tears left. Cry because you miss your Grandma. Cry because your dad just lost his mother. His mother. Cry because you are so grateful your mother is still here. Cry until you fall asleep. And then wake up and continue crying. Let the sadness consume you, because being sad is better than being numb.

And then suddenly, you're done crying. You feel loving, warm, familiar arms around you - even though no one else is there. And you remember how much your Grandma missed her loving, sweet husband, and how happy she is to be with him again - forever this time. And it's hard to be sad or angry when you know how happy she is. And she's standing with her husband, and her parents, and her siblings at the right hand of God - and they are all smiling, and waiting for the rest of us to join them in Eternity. They're happy. So this wasn't horrible and impossible after all. It was marvelous, and wonderful! And she's happy! And it's okay for you to be happy that she's happy, because that is what she would want. And acceptance comes easier, and more quickly because you know that you will see her again someday.

Next week we will be laying to rest my dear, sweet Grandmother next to my loving Grandfather, and we will be rejoicing in the knowledge that they are together forever at last.

Zona Allen Hancey (1930-2012)

OGDEN – Zona Allen Hancey, 82, passed away peacefully Thursday, November 8, 2012 of causes incident to age. She was born on April 19, 1930 in Portage, Utah to John and Louisa Allen. Zona was one of five children, all of whom dearly loved one another and were proud of their heritage and hometown. The people of Portage lived quiet, simple lives of faith, testimony and service that found a welcome home in Zona's heart all her days. Charity, the pure love of Christ, was the lodestone of virtues that governed her life.


Along with her sisters, Helen, Mary and Eloise, and brother Jay, Zona looked after the family home and their mother while their father herded sheep in the hills surrounding Portage. She refused to leave her mother alone and would frequently forgo trips into Tremonton or Malad with friends so her mother would have company and help with the chores. The friends she made there and in Ogden, including her co-workers at the IRS, remained the kind of friends who understood what's important in life and remained true and faithful to one another and their Savior even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Zona loved being a mother. She chauffeured, cooked, made and mended clothing, tended to illness and injury and cheered her family on their way. Her canned fruit, hand dipped chocolates, "waffle cookies", quilts, crocheting and gathering the family for dinner every evening made her house a home her children and loved ones would return to again and again. She vigilantly ensured everyone had a full stomach, was well rested, had some money in their pocket and most importantly – had her unconditional love. She was and will forever remain our angel mother.

Trips to Yellowstone, winters in St. George, the Bar J Wranglers, the movie and play South Pacific, hummingbirds, giving and receiving greeting cards and the hundreds of tulips and daffodils that bloom in her yard each spring were some of her favorite things.

Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was always an important part of her life as she faithfully magnified her many callings especially as a missionary companion to her husband Chuck and as a visiting teacher. Her neighbors, friends and family knew she wasn't one to wait around to be called to serve. "Because I have been blessed by thy great love, dear Lord. I'll share Thy love again, according to Thy word. I shall give love to those in need; I'll show that love by word and deed: Thus shall my thanks be thanks in deed," were words to a hymn she sang and more importantly – words she lived by. None knew this better than her posterity who gratefully received the very best of her service as mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

On February 8, 1952 she married her eternal companion, Charles Ray Hancey, in the Logan LDS Temple. The eternal legacy of love and family they started lives on the lives of their children, Shauna (Dave) Christiansen, Ogden; Jana (Craig) Manscill, Lindon; LaRaun (Dave) Nielsen, Harrisville; Heidi (Lyle) Bauer, Calgary, Canada; and Chad (Tracy) Hancey, Layton; 28 grandchildren and 29 great-grandchildren.

She was preceded in death by her beloved husband, Chuck; parents, brother Jay, and three sisters, Helen, Eloise and Mary, and twin granddaughters.

Funeral services will be held on Wednesday, November 14, 2012 at 11 a.m. at Ogden LDS Stake Center, 1000 East Suncrest Dr., Ogden. Friends may visit with family on Tuesday from 6 to 8 p.m. at Lindquist's North Ogden Mortuary, 2140 N. Washington Blvd., and Wednesday from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. at the church.

Interment, Lindquist's Memorial Gardens of the Wasatch, 1718 Combe Road.

Special thanks to the caregivers at Pine View Rehab, The Gardens Assisted Living, and our angels, Heidi Sines and Camille Schmidt from Intermountain Homecare and Hospice.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations to Primary Children's Medical Center, 100 Mario Capecchi Dr., Salt Lake City, UT 84113. 

I'll love you forever, Grandma. 

3 DOWN...

many more to go. But it's a start, right?

I think I once said I would write about stuff I've crossed off my bucket list... and I haven't really done that. Because I am on honest person (even though no one probably remembers I said that except myself), I am now going to play catch up.

Number Six: Ride the Wonder Wheel at Coney Island

Last summer, my family and I DROVE to New York. And Washington DC. Believe it or not, riding the Wonder Wheel at Coney Island was on my bucket list BEFORE we did this. So I was in New York, on Long Island for the first time in my life. I didn't know if I would ever be back there. We had just spent the day at Oyster Bay, and we were driving back to our hotel in New Jersey. Once I realized that Coney Island was on Long Island, there was no stopping me. Like I said, I didn't know if I would ever be back there! So I begged and bargained and pleaded with the parents and brothers to drive down to Coney Island. And it worked! And then the Wonder Wheel wasn't even running when we got there. I was so disappointed. So the family decided we would go and get authentic Nathan's hot dogs. As we were walking out of Coney Island, guess what lights up behind us? That's right, the Wonder Wheel. If I were and emotional person, I probably would have cried. I settle for a high pitched scream and a dead bolt for the farris wheel. Definitely my favorite part of New York. Here's some proof (side note: please excuse my bangs. I don't really know what I was thinking...):

Number Eight: Enter A Contest

Don't worry, this one will be short and sweet.
One time, I went to Australia (maybe I'll write more about that someday). I spent a weekend In Kuranda, and I took this cool picture of a train. And then in June, I entered it into a photo contest in the Snow Horse Art Gallery. And it didn't win, but my moms friends child really liked it!

Number Thirteen: Get my ears pierced

This one (embarrassingly enough) I added to my bucket list after it had happened. It's cool though. I went with my friend Kaleigh to the Gate Way in Salt Lake (I didn't want to see anyone I knew, that's why we didn't just go to the Layton Hills mall). It was way embarrassing. The lady working at Clair's was holding the earring display really low, and then apologized by saying, "I'm sorry, I normally do this for little girls". Yeah, embarrassing.

Bed time, loves. Good night :)

Happy Living!

It really sucks when you decide to change your major half way through the semester, but you still have to finish taking the classes you are currently enrolled in. Sometimes, you have to figure out what you don't want in order to figure out what you do want (like changing your major to Psychology, and signing up for psychology classes, only to realize that you want to major in Elementary Education).

I love my life.

Tell me if this makes sense: I work at an elementary school, and I love my job! So it would make sense to major in something I love doing, right? I feel like that would be a good thing to do, yeah?

On a [slightly] different note...

I wish I could just fast forward 10 years of my life. You know, to a time when I'm married, and done with school, and I don't have to make anymore hard decisions. Sometimes, that would be lovely. Because dating is dumb (and I'm super awkward), and school is dumb (how ironic), and making hard decisions is dumb. But life is life. And we go through this stuff for a reason, right? So press forward I will!

Because this is where I'm going on Friday:

Subway Canyon

And this is where I'm going in two weeks:

Lake Tahoe

That felt good to get out of my system.

Alright, ciao loves... and happy living.

Up at Camp Loll on warm afternoons...

 I love Camp Loll. I love the Boy Scouts of America. I love the opportunity I have every summer to serve the Boy Scouts, and I LOVE the people I work with! This summer was my fourth one spent in the Yellow Stone back country - breathing in the fresh, unpolluted air, looking up at a star filled sky, swimming in the refreshing Lake of the Woods. It was magical. People ask me all the time why I keep going back to Camp Loll... this is why:

       

Who wouldn't love this?

I totally detoxed, kids. Like, it actually worked

Last weekend I felt like poop. I seriously felt so horrible. But not like, I-caught-a-bug-from-someone-else horrible, more like, I-haven't-been-taking-care-of-my-body horrible. So I detoxed. Emotionally/mentally, physically, aaaaanddd spiritually. It was lovely. And it really worked! After a couple of days, I totally felt better. (Side note: I only have diabetic genes on one side of the fam, so that lessened my panic a bit). I even drank that lemonade drink I was so excited about. And it was nasty. But I drank it anyway. And I ate lots of fibery foods! And I took up yoga! Which detoxes you... somehow. And, I also cleaned my room (I really think that helped me feel better).

In conclusion: everyone... detox.

I just need to share this super awesome thing I did on Friday. I went to these things called "batting cages". And I had the time of my life. Seriously, I'm in love. And, it was cheap! Everyone should go to the batting cages at some point in their life, and experience the joy.

Ciao, loves

Health-a-licious.

That's right kids, it's time. I have diabetes coming at me from both ends of the genetic pool, so I figure it's about time to get my act together. Every time I eat too much sugar, and then my stomach hurts, I'm convinced that I'm getting diabetes. So I am changing my ways. It's really happening. Today is the day! First up?

. . . . . . . . . D E T O X I F I C A T I O N . . . . . . . . 

I've eaten a lot of crappy food this weekend. I knew that before I started to change my diet, I needed to flush out my system. I was thinking, "Oh, I won't eat any more food for the rest of the day. I'll just drink water!" (It was about 5:30 PM when I thought that...). As I did more and more research on detoxifying your body, I found out that it takes more than 12 hours. Try 7 days.

Are you ready for an awesome connection? 

The purpose of DETOXIFYING your body is to clean your blood (of sugar, and junky stuff). A big part of DIABETES is controlling your blood sugar! Not only do Detoxifying and Diabetes both start with D, but they both have to do with your blood! It takes about 7 days to get nice clean blood. 

Detoxifying sounds great, doesn't it? And so cleansing.

So, obviously, it takes a little bit more than thinking about detoxifying to actually detoxify. In my mind, I figured I could go a couple of hours with no food, and just water, but that would do nothing, and probably be unhealthy. Even when you are trying to detoxify, your body still needs nutrients. I've heard a lot about drinking tea to detoxify, but I don't drink tea. In my quest for knowledge on this topic, I found some awesome "Natural Detox Drink Recipes". I haven't drank pop in a really long time (that is one aspect of my current diet that I am so proud of!). In  place of pop, I started drinking lemonade. All the time. I love it. One of the recipes I found is called, "The Lemonade Cleanse". I'm so excited for this.

• 2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 2 tablespoons of pure maple syrup
• 1/10 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

Mix into 8 oz of purified water. 

Drink 6-8 glasses of this each day of your cleanse, and eat nothing.

**Warning: this drink lacks important nutrients**

Another good one: Fruit Detox Drink

• 8 oz. of orange juice
• 4 oz. of pure water
• ½ cup banana strawberries or yogurt
• ½-inch slice of ginger
• 1 small garlic clove
• 1 tablespoon flax oil
• 1 tablespoon lecithin granules
• 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice if desired
• 1 tablespoon of protein powder or spirulina powder

Last, but not least: CRANBERRY JUICE.

Fresh. It's really good for you. And it contains vitamin C (so obviously it's good for you). Dilute one part cranberry juice into four parts water then, add 1 tablespoon each of apple pectin and psyllium fiber to stimulate gentle intestinal elimination.

Also, eat lots of fiber. Because fiber makes you poop!

These recipes came from http://life.gaiam.com/article/5-natural-detox-drink-recipes

I'm going to try and get this far. I probably won't do a 7 day detox. Maybe like, a 2 day detox. I'll throw in some yoga, and lots of exercise (which is IMPORTANT when detoxing!). Hopefully, I can report back with good results... 

Happy detoxing, loves. 

The Ugly Truth.

Ever since I started working at a scout camp in 2009, I've called myself a very open person. You see, at scout camp, everyone on staff knows everything that happens at camp. People try to keep secrets, but it doesn't work. This happens a lot of times with "camp romances", as we like to call them. People think they can get away with having a secret camp romance, but eventually one person on staff will see you holding hands, and the next day, everyone on staff will know about it. Trust me, I've had my fair share of camp rumors. Some having to do with boys, and some having to do with what Valery and I were doing spying on secret meetings past curfew (if Delose is reading this... we were NEVER out past curfew). The point is, working at scout camp as molded me into the more open person that I am now. I decided it was better for people to hear what was going on with me through my own mouth than through the grapevine. So if someone asked me about a boy, or what I was doing was doing at the campfire bowl the night before, I would tell them. A lot of times, I would just volunteer the information (as in, "Wanna hear a funny story? Last night..."). I heard on the radio the other day that the average woman can keep a secret for like, 36 minutes. I believe it. Keeping secrets is hard.

And now, a part of my soul... served on a shiny silver platter (also known as the internet).

There is a student in the 5th grade class I'm working in who runs away whenever he gets upset (I work at an autistic elementary school, so running away is one of this boys autistic behaviors). He won't stop and talk to a teacher about what is bothering him, he'll just take off (he is working on this, and getting much better at it). And then there's me. I do the same thing, except, I don't have autism as an excuse.

Last Sunday, I was called to be the Nursery leader in my ward. To say I was overwhelmed would be the understatement of the year. As I was sitting in relief society next to my dad (he was going to be speaking), I started to cry. It was like, I was just called to be the nursery leader by my dad who was just called to be the bishop, and I was sitting in relief society with all these happy, cheerful women, and I was crying. It was just too much. I turned to my dad and told him that I had to leave. He hugged me and tried to tell me it would be okay, but I couldn't handle it. So, I got up and ran out of the room. Literally ran. 


I need a behavior plan.

There is really no point to me telling the internet world this, except that the first step to changing is admitting you have a problem. So this is me... admitting I have a problem. Here's to changing. 

Pointless Post #1

This isn't the first pointless post I've ever written, but I think I might start a series...

I almost just wrote an entire paragraph about how ridiculously unkind the women on The Bachelor are. But I stopped myself.

On a different note, I helped a 5th grader see that it is better to be accountable for your actions than not! It was a joyous moment indeed. Getting through to the autistic children I work with is one of the BEST feelings ever. I was teaching math today, and after I explained the lesson, one of the boys in my group raised his hand and said, "Miss Ali? Thank you for explaining that to me! I never understood it before now." Seriously, best feeling ever.

I read a book to my 5th graders a couple days ago entitled, Diary of a Worm. The worm writes in his diary that he made a macaroni necklace in school. The illustration shows a bunch of worms with macaroni noodles around their necks. As in, one macaroni noodle was the entire necklace. It was so funny! Unfortunately, the 5th graders didn't get it. And I couldn't stop laughing.

Another good feeling? Finally being able to put the money from the wisdom teeth clinical trial into the bank.

I am hereby amending my facebook resolution. Previously stated: "Saturday is facebook day". I am now adding Wednesday. If I was going to school, and it was distracting me from homework, then I would say just Saturday... but after work, I don't really have anything to be distracted from. I'd still like to use it less though. So,  Wednesday and Saturday are now facebook days. In all honesty, the days I go without facebook feel so much more accomplished. And it's not that I'm actually accomplishing anything other than not getting on facebook. That was slightly more embarrassing to admit than I thought it would be.

I just bid $20.00 on a pair of Boy Scout socks... Also more embarrassing to admit than I originally thought.

Fun fact: I hate shopping. I hate walking around stores looking for clothes. I hate trying clothes on. I have recently discovered the perfect solution: online shopping. It's wonderful! And addicting. And it means I get mail, and that is always a bonus.

Alright loves, goodnight.

Happy Loopy Land!

Please play this song (but don't watch the video, it's really sad). Now, close your eyes and imagine you are on top of the clouds - literally on top of the clouds, none of that metaphorical cloud nine business. Feel the sunshine on your face and hands. Imagine rainbows and prancing unicorns. I'll give you a moment to relish in the feeling.

Wasn't it wonderful? That place you just visited is what my mind referred to as "Happy Loopy Land!" on Thursday afternoon. As I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled. They didn't put me out, but they numbed me up real good and gave me laughing gas. I could hear myself snoring, and I didn't even care, because I was in Happy Loopy Land with the rainbows and prancing unicorns. It was bliss. And then they were done, the laughing gas was taken away, the numbness wore off, and now it kind of sucks. Take a gander at my For Kicks page for before and after pictures that I find hilarious. PS: I thought they were only going to take out two teeth, because I did a clinical trial (and I was led to believe they would only be taking out two teeth...), but they took out all four. 

Want to know something funny? So I did this clinical trial, right? It's called Life Tree Clinical Research. Instead of paying to get my wisdom teeth removed, I got paid (which makes all this pain worth it). Anyway, as part of the trial, I had to stay overnight in their "lab". I had a button to press if I woke up and needed anything. So, I had just gotten my wisdom teeth removed, and I'm pretty sure the study drug they gave me was only sleep medicine (so I was in a lot of pain). This is the funny part: I woke up more times in the night because I had to pee, than because I was in pain. I would push the little button, and the doctors would come running to my little room to see if I was okay, and I would sit up and say, "I just have to pee again, no big". 

Oh, Gracie's Theme is the song I was listening to while in Happy Loopy Land. Also, I am currently on lortab. If this makes no sense, my apologies. 

Alright kids, I'm off to bed. Maybe this lortab can take me back to Happy Loopy Land.

We are being REAL. Again.

Last year I posted my new years resolutions to my blog, and honestly, I think it helped. So it's happening again.


As I said last year: "I’ve decided to save myself from justifying my “goal breaking” in the future, by justifying them now. That way, in the future, I won’t be breaking any goals when I decide to eat an extra cookie every once in a while or when I really am too tired to wake up for that miserable 9:30 class of mine. The reason you all get to know my goals and guidelines is because these are really things I want to accomplish this year. If you write a goal down, you are that much more likely to accomplish it. So what if anyone who wants to can read your goals? That’s got to give me an even better chance at this. And trust me, I’m going to need all the “much more likely’s” and “better chances” I can get.  So here’s to hoping!"


Seriously.

1. No fast food: It worked out well for me last year, so I'm doing it again. This year no fast food means: chain restaurants (i.e. Wendy's, McDonald's, Burger King, Dairy Queen, etc.); ice cream from fast food restaurants (i.e. ice cream cones, shakes, blizzards, malts, frozen hot chocolates, etc.); deep fried food from other restaurants (i.e. corn dogs, french fries, steak fries, any kind of fries, egg rolls, wantons, etc.). What IS allowed? Once a month: Chinese and Costa Vida. Ice cream from a carton is allowed. 
2. No soda pop: Seeing as how I already gave up caffeine (meaning Dr. Pepper), this shouldn't be too difficult. This seriously means no soda for the whole year (including root beer floats).
3. No candy: We just going to give this a shot - see how it turns out. No chocolate based candy (snickers, butterfinger, etc.), no sugar based candy (skittles, pixi stix, etc.). NO CANDY. Period.
4. Exercise: I bought a gym pass, so it's a lot easier to exercise now. Weird, I know. I would like to go to the gym at least 2 times a week. The only exception to this will be the months of June, July, and August. Because I will be at scout camp.
5. Early to bed: When it's a goal, it's a lot easier to do. Bed time = 11:00 or earlier every weekday (this includes Sunday).
6. No sleeping in: I waste so much of my day sleeping in. Seriously, if nothing wakes me up, I will sleep until 12, guaranteed. By no sleeping in, I mean: out of bed by 10:30.
7. Save money (stop spending money): This really needs no justification. 
8. Less facebook time: Lets go with...  Saturday = facebook day. I'm not very hopeful for this one... 

Alright kids, I hope everyone had a wonderful new years celebration. Good luck to all those with resolutions - and to those without, perhaps you will need the luck even more. Good night, loves.