I will call this... Untitled.

First of all, I give you...

Top 10 reasons I DO go to the gym:
     1. I just bought a gym pass.
     2. I ate 7 sugar cookies today. That's right kids, 7.
     3. They might be playing a good movie.
     4. I just made a bet that requires me to have a 6 pack.
     5. I'll need to shower tonight anyway.
     6. I haven't left the house yet today...
     7. It's on my bucket list to run a 5K.
     8. If I'm running at the gym, I won't be tempted to order earring off Ebay.
     9. Kaleigh went alone last time.
   10. I get to wear shorts in the middle of Winter! (Lame, I know. I just couldn't come up                with a tenth one.)

Good. Okay. I need everyone to know that I experienced comfortable silence the other day. And it was simply wonderful. I think I'll not talk more often (that's probably a lie). Wouldn't it be cool if I wrote about stuff that actually mattered? I think it'd be pretty cool. Not as a profession though.

Now, for your reading pleasure...

Top 10 things you probably shouldn't know about me:
     1. I once went 3 years without going to the dentist.
     2. When I finally went to the dentist, I had zero cavities.
     3. I have a HORRIBLE gag reflex. Particularly to really bad smells.
     4. Speaking of my gag reflex, if I see an insect with more than 8 legs, I will gag.
     5. I find showering to be one of the most tedious tasks a person has to do.
     6. Fingernail polish makes me claustrophobic, but small spaces don't.
     7. Sometimes something happens to me, and then I realize it should have been on my bucket list. So I cheat and add it to my bucket list just so I can cross it off (i.e. getting my ears pierced).
     8. I eat a TON. Like, an unflattering amount of food.
     9. I used to pray that I would get bloody noses, because I thought they looked like fun.
   10. I just spent $14.00 on a pair of dinosaur earrings. And... they're studs.

I went to Temple Square last night and was tackled in the middle of the North Visitors Center. That's right, I was on the ground. (This is one of the things I really want to add to my bucket list) I was there with a camp friend, and another camp friend saw us... and then he tackled me. It was pretty awesome. I think he was trying to hug both of us at the same time, but I kind of got close-lined instead, and ended up on the floor.

Ready for another Top 10?

Top 10 things I say ALL the time:
     1. I'm so mad (99% of the time, I'm not really mad)
     2. Poop head.
     3. I'm so funny!
     4. Yeah it is/ it was/ there are/ we are... etc.
     5. Ya big weird (I got that one from my roommates Freshman year)
     6. That's so funny!
     7. Why are we not married?!
     8. Oh man.
     9. Good heavens!
   10. Any given line from Mulan.

Wasn't that just exciting! A couple days ago, I saw Santa getting chased down the street by two adolescent, unbelievably excited boys. It turns out, *spoiler alert for small children (and anyone else who believes in Santa)* Santa was my dad. 

Battle of the Disney Princesses

When I was a senior in high school, I took a creative writing class. One of our assignments was to write a letter to some one, and then write their response. The next day, we would all read our assignments to the class. Most of my class mates wrote really sentimental letters to their deceased grandparents, or inspirational letters to their role models. Me? This is what I wrote.


Dear Jasmine,
I must say, you've got a nice place here. Although, why you keep that pitiful excuse for a tiger, I will never know. That thing with be the first of many to go after the wedding. Oh, that's right, I forgot to mention, I'm getting married - to Jafar. You see, since you decided to hit the road, no one was left, besides him, to take over after dear old dad passes on. And what's a Sultan without his Sultana? Nothing. That's right hun, your little I-want-to-get-out-and-experience-the-world-like-a-normal-person stunt let this pretty little kingdom fall into the hands of what will be the greatest and most powerful Sultan ever. If we all go to hell, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.


Ta ta darling!
Yours truly, Ariel


Dear Ariel,
I have three short topics I would like to address.
1. You kill Rajah, I kill you.
2. Congratulations on the wedding! I'm glad Jafar was lucky enough to find someone as far fetched, hypocritical, and back stabbing as himself. I wish you two the best, and hope you have fun killing each other.
3. If you so much as even try to take over my father's kingdom, my BF and I will come and kick your butt. And FYI, Aladdin is macho now. Like the Hulk macho, only not green and much more attractive.


Oh, one more thing, the only ones going to hell are you and your precious fiance. So I'd watch your back, sweety.


Peace out fish,
Jasmine

Now, onto more random things... I have recently become obsessed with owl earrings. As in, I have spent countless hours on ebay today looking at owl earrings. Don't worry, I won't bid on any until midnight. I've just decided, I'm going to make a list of... things.

1. I watched all 7 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in basically 2 weeks. Season 6 made me cry as many times as it made me laugh.
2. I did SO not sleep in until 1:00 in the afternoon today.
3. I washed the inside of the windows in my car with one of those window washer things at a gas station. Best idea ever. Who cares that the guy in front of me was openly laughing at me?
4. I'm not going to school in January. I got a permanent position as a 5th grade paraprofessional at Spectrum Academy. I have never felt better about an in the moment decision. I am so excited!
5. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out some day soon (yes, I'm 20 and I still have my wisdom teeth, so what?), and I'm terrified. Although, I will be getting paid for it and that kind of makes it less terrifying and more awesome. I kind of feel like that sounds like I'm selling my wisdom teeth on the black market. Which I'm not.
6. "When ever I get sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome!" is from How I Met Your Mother.
7. Top 10 reasons I don't go to the gym (even though I just got a gym pass) (in no particular order)
      1. I will a soon as this episode is over (... 6 episodes later...)
      2. I can't go out in public unless I shower. Public includes the gym.
      3. Exercising is bad for you when you're sick, right? Right?
      4. What if I see someone I went to high school with?!
      5. I ate healthy (er than I did yesterday) today.
      6. I did some crunches last night, that's good enough for the week.
      7. I had to go by myself last week, now it's Kaleigh's turn.
      8. I'm just too lazy to put on shoes I actually have to tie...
      9. I haven't shaved my legs for jfdsklaf weeks.
      10. Gyms are intimidating. What if I'm supposed to meet my soul mate there!
8. There is no way I could ever meet my soul mate at the gym. I look like way to much of a freak to attract any guys.
9. There has been a walnut tree in the front yard of my parents house for my whole life. Literally, my whole life. This is the first year I have even tasted a walnut. 19 years of my life went by before I tasted one of these scrumptious nuts. Talk about time wasted.
10. I'm pretty sure my 17 year old brother has been on more dates than me...
11. I have to post stuff I wrote in high school on my blog because if I don't, then my entire blog will be full of posts like this.

Alright, kids. I'm done ranting for the night. Happy Holidays.

      

Today I...

Let's play a game. It's called "Today I..." All you have to do is list all the weirdo things you did today. I'll start.

Today I...
Ran a stop sign. Hard core.
Gagged when I heard a Bruno Mars song on the radio (no joke).
Ate an entire bag of cough drops
Sang the Barney clean up song to 5th graders at the top of my lungs (they loved it! jk)
Wore the same shirt I wore last night... (that's an embarrassing one to admit)
Watched way too many episodes of HIMYM (like, 7)
Was patient (trust me kids, that's a weirdo thing for me)
Forgot my water bottle when I went to the gym
Fell in love. With Neil Patrick Harris. Even though he is gay.

Ran a stop sign. Hard core.
There was a traffic light super close to the stop sign, and traffic was all backed up. When the light turned green, I (for some reason) assumed I could go right after the car in front of me. Without stopping at the stop sign. I don't know if that made any sense, but that's how it went down. I ALMOST crashed into another car, and ALMOST called them a hoser... and then I realized it was my fault and felt like a COMPLETE idiot.

Gagged when I heard a Bruno Mars song on the radio.
Seriously. I'm soo done with Bruno Mars. And Katy Perry (I'm sorry if that offends anyone). I listen to the radio everyday on the way to and from work, and Bruno Mars and Katy Perry are soo over played. I don't gag when I hear Katy Perry, fyi.

Ate an entire bag of cough drops.
I realized after I bought them (and had eaten half the bag) that they are, in fact, throat drops. No wonder I had to eat so many before I could feel a difference. Just kidding. Kind of.

Sang the Barney clean up song to 5th graders at the top of my lungs.
They wouldn't clean up their messes and it was almost time to go home... so I threatened them with Barney. When they still refused to clean up, I had no choice but to sing the song. If I didn't, then they wouldn't take me seriously, and I just can't have that. And also it was really funny. I had to sing at the top of my lungs because they were all screaming, "NO!!!" as loud as they could.

Wore the same shirt I wore last night.
I wore a cute shirt to a concert last night, and I didn't see anyone I knew, so I wore it again today (I was only wearing the shirt for like, 2 hours yesterday) (Seriously, why am I admitting this??).

Watched way too many episodes of HIMYM.
It's just so funny!

Was Patient.
I waited for something to happen before just doing it myself. Big accomplishment.

Forgot my water bottle when I went to the gym.
Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? Because it's embarrassing. (Remember how my life is an embarrassing story?). So I walked briskly on a tredmill for 47 minutes instead of running or jogging. Hey, 11,000 steps? You bet.

Fell in love with Neil Patrick Harris. Even though he's gay.
Ali: "I love Neil Patrick Harris!"
Kaleigh: "You know he's gay, right?"
Ali: "He is not!"
Kaleigh: "Hey Cache, come here."
Cache: "What do you want?"
Ali: "What is the first thing you think of when I say: 'Neil Patrick Harris'?"
Cache (without missing a beat): "Gay."
Seriously kids, I love him.

And now you officially know way more about me than you ever wanted to, huh? (I've officially admitted way more than I wanted to...) Kbye. 

Family, isn't about ti- Dad?

Funny Story #1:
This story has THREE different background stories. No worries, it's worth it (and they're all really short (as in, like, 3 sentences or less (for each one))).

Background Story #1
My late grandpa, Charles Hancey, was in the Navy during WWII. On Veterans Day, 2010, my grandpa was in a parade in Ogden City. He stood proudly on his float, waving an American Flag, and wearing his old Navy pea coat.

Background Story #2
It has been a tradition in my family for as long as I can remember to visit my grandparents house every Sunday evening. Along with my dads brothers and sisters and their kids, my family and I would all gather in my grandparents front room for good conversation and, of course, cake and ice cream.

Background Story #3
Pea coats are making quite the fashion statement these days. Among boys and girls. As in, I got a pea coat last winter, and for his 17 birthday this year, my little brother got a pea coat.

And now...

The Actual Story
I went with my dad and my little brother to my grandma's house tonight (as per usual on a Sunday evening). As we were getting on out coats and such before we left, my dad noticed my little brother wearing his fashionable pea coat. He told my little brother that my grandpa's old Navy pea coat was still hanging in the closet in the front room of my grandma's house. As you might have guessed, my little brother definitely wanted to see it. Upon entering my grandma's house, the first thing my dad and little brother do, is riffle through the closet in the front room looking for my grandpa's coat.

"Oh, here it is!" States my dad, as he pulls the coat off the hanger.

"Wow, it's a lot longer than mine," notices my little brother.

"Yeah, and the arms are really small," replies my dad.

"Why is your dad putting on my winter coat?" asks my grandma.

The end.

Turns out my grandma's (shin length) women's pea coat was hanging right next to my grandpa's (waist length) Navy pea coat, but my dad didn't notice until he was already wearing my grandma's coat (also, realize that my grandma is a small, skinny woman... and my dad's not (it's not that my dad is fat, he's just not a small, skinny woman). It was super funny.

Funny Story #2
Kaleigh and I bought passes to the gym (I could say "the end" right there and count it as a funny story). On Saturday night, we decided we would go running (at the gym we just joined). However, before we left, we decided we were hungry. So... wewenttoCostaVidaandgotfood. We decided it would be better to eat first, then go run all our calories off. After enjoying our SALADS (that's right kids, we were healthy), we got back in the car and drove to the gym. Only to find an empty parking lot. Turns out the gym closes at 6 on Saturdays. So what do we do instead? We go to Walmart. We always go to Walmart. Don't worry, we bought healthy snacks! And, we spent at least an hour walking around, which is goo-ood! And we also read a magazine article about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart getting married (I think they should have just made the ceremony in Breaking Dawn real, but whatev's). And also, an article about Ryan Gosling (who is a complete BABE, btw).
That's the end. Okay, that story wasn't that funny... Except that it really was, because we skipped going to the gym earlier to eat. Yeah... okay.

I've got that scouting spirit!

To understand this, we must go back in time. To YESTERDAY (December 7, 2011)
1. I work at an autistic elementary school. I love my job, but yesterday was an extremely long day. There was a situation... "and now the fist are flying and the first guy picks up a brick (and you might want to zip up the pouch for this next part)" Don't worry, there were no bricks. But there were teeth... Anyway, it was just a long day.
2. I came home from work exhausted, and snuggled up with my computer and season 1 of How I Met Your Mother.
3. I fell asleep before the episode was even half way over.
4. My dad woke me up by coming in my bedroom and dancing around in his scout uniform.
5. "Where are you going, dad?"
    "To a court of honor, Ali."
6. I was suddenly running around my room trying to get ready for a court of honor.

Moral of this story? I LOVE scouting! And I especially love wearing my uniform. I know that lots of non-scouting folk think it's weird... but I don't care. I think it's wonderful!

Funny story: So I went with my dad to this court of honor last night. As we were walking into the building, one of the scouts said to me: "Hey! You worked in the store at Camp Loll! I remember you!" You have no idea how much joy that brought to my heart. After the court of honor (which was awesome, by the way), I made my dad go somewhere really public with me so everyone could see how awesome we looked (we seriously looked so awesome). We ended up at Albertson's (Fresh Market, whatevs). My dad thought I was super weird (he didn't think other people would think we looked awesome). Well, as we were walking toward the yogurt section of the store, this lady pushing a cart stopped as she was passing us and said: "I am so impressed!" My dad told her that I was on staff at a boy scout camp (like it somehow lessens the awesome-ness of my uniform), and she said: "Still, I am so impressed! I've NEVER seen a girl in a uniform like that!" I quickly informed her that I was, in fact, a registered Boy Scout of America, and then we were on our way to the yogurt once again. Don't you see? By going to Albertson's in my scout uniform, I changed the way a woman thought about scouting. Good story, huh?

Last night I came to this conclusion: If you could look this awesome every day of the entire summer, why on earth would you not work at a boy scout camp?

And now, to support the vanity of this post...
The one on the bottom, that's my little brother. He's just funny.

Dancin' with myse-elf uh uh u-... Oh.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean the bathroom when you can't stop dancing in front of the mirror? It's hard kids, it's hard.

So, I could give this whole little soliloquy... monologue?... about how I don't want to be dancing with myself for the rest of life... but I'm definitely not going to. Because secretly, I pretty much only dance when I'm by myself. Or when I'm with Valery. Or when I'm at scout camp. And some times when I get really excited. But that's it.

I recently started watching How I Met Your Mother. And there is one episode about embarrassing moments. Now, many people know that my life is basically an embarrassing story. So much so that I don't really get embarrassed any more. And I also no longer really feel awkwardness. Because my life is also basically an... awkward story (see how awkward that was?). And it's also a lame story (that's probably a story for another time... actually it's not. It'll come right after the embarrassing and awkward stories.

Embarrassing story: I work at Camp Loll during the summer (as you may or may not already know). What do I do at Camp Loll, you ask? I am the Trading Post department head. That's right kids, I'm in charge (there's actually only me and one other girl in there (who has actually worked there longer than me), and the only reason I'm the department head is because I'm older...). Back to the story. So, every Sunday at noon, we have a department head meeting. Basically, all the department heads meet together (... obviously) and talk about their departments (I know, this is probably hard to follow). One lovely Sunday afternoon, I forgot about the department head meeting. At approximately 12:08, one of the boys on staff reminded me, "Uh, Ali? Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting right now?" Yeah, it's good that everyone on staff remembers the department head meeting... except one of the department heads. So I took off running. Now, I was in the girls cabin, and the meeting was in the lodge. Fun fact for you: the girls cabin is not that far from the lodge. How long is a football field? 100 yards? Kay, I don't even want to guess how many yards or whatever, just know: the girls cabin is not even a football field away from the lodge. I promise this will get funny (and embarrassing). By the time I get to the meeting, I'm panting. Like, hard core out of breath. I quickly take a seat next to the field sports department head. As soon as I sat down (do you like how I just switched from present to past tense? I do) the field sports director leaned over to me and asked, "Where'd you run from, the water front?" Ba-dum, ch! Because the water front is way farther than the girls cabin... get it? And I only ran from the girls cabin! Ha ha, so embarrassing...

Awkward story: I have this horrible habit of talking non-stop. I used to tell people that I do it only when I think a situation will be awkward if it is silent. Trust me, I am awesome at talking about the most random things off the top of my head. I could probably win a contest. One time, my roommate gave me a ride back up to USU from Layton. We hadn't known each other long, so that was a situation I deemed awkward were silence to transpire (that was a good sentence, huh?). The entire car ride I was talking non-stop. I kid you not, I did not stop talking for 55 minutes straight. Well, a couple of months later, after my roomy and I were better acquainted with each other (really good friends, actually), that car ride came up. Normally when I talk a lot... I realize that I'm talking a lot, but I don't realize that other people realize that I'm talking a lot. So, that car ride came up, and my room mate mentioned how weird she thought I was for talking so much. It turns out that... not every one sees silence as horribly awkward...

Lame Story: My friend Kaleigh (I can use her name because she's the one that is making me look lame here) said she found this website that let's you do the P90X video workouts for free (if that doesn't make sense, I'm sorry, I've never heard of P90X, and I've never been to the website). So she just texted me and told me what an intense workout she just did, and then she asked if I did it. My reply? "No... I cleaned the bathroom".

Oh the life I live...

Ch-ch-ch-check it ouuuut.

(Did that come from Bill Nye the Science Guy?)

Since I have not yet posted any sort of proper review of this awesome book, go look at this one. Then go read the awesome book.

Publisher Weekly review of The Organ Donor Experience: Good Samaritans and the Meaning of Altruism