Battle of the Disney Princesses

When I was a senior in high school, I took a creative writing class. One of our assignments was to write a letter to some one, and then write their response. The next day, we would all read our assignments to the class. Most of my class mates wrote really sentimental letters to their deceased grandparents, or inspirational letters to their role models. Me? This is what I wrote.


Dear Jasmine,
I must say, you've got a nice place here. Although, why you keep that pitiful excuse for a tiger, I will never know. That thing with be the first of many to go after the wedding. Oh, that's right, I forgot to mention, I'm getting married - to Jafar. You see, since you decided to hit the road, no one was left, besides him, to take over after dear old dad passes on. And what's a Sultan without his Sultana? Nothing. That's right hun, your little I-want-to-get-out-and-experience-the-world-like-a-normal-person stunt let this pretty little kingdom fall into the hands of what will be the greatest and most powerful Sultan ever. If we all go to hell, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.


Ta ta darling!
Yours truly, Ariel


Dear Ariel,
I have three short topics I would like to address.
1. You kill Rajah, I kill you.
2. Congratulations on the wedding! I'm glad Jafar was lucky enough to find someone as far fetched, hypocritical, and back stabbing as himself. I wish you two the best, and hope you have fun killing each other.
3. If you so much as even try to take over my father's kingdom, my BF and I will come and kick your butt. And FYI, Aladdin is macho now. Like the Hulk macho, only not green and much more attractive.


Oh, one more thing, the only ones going to hell are you and your precious fiance. So I'd watch your back, sweety.


Peace out fish,
Jasmine

Now, onto more random things... I have recently become obsessed with owl earrings. As in, I have spent countless hours on ebay today looking at owl earrings. Don't worry, I won't bid on any until midnight. I've just decided, I'm going to make a list of... things.

1. I watched all 7 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in basically 2 weeks. Season 6 made me cry as many times as it made me laugh.
2. I did SO not sleep in until 1:00 in the afternoon today.
3. I washed the inside of the windows in my car with one of those window washer things at a gas station. Best idea ever. Who cares that the guy in front of me was openly laughing at me?
4. I'm not going to school in January. I got a permanent position as a 5th grade paraprofessional at Spectrum Academy. I have never felt better about an in the moment decision. I am so excited!
5. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out some day soon (yes, I'm 20 and I still have my wisdom teeth, so what?), and I'm terrified. Although, I will be getting paid for it and that kind of makes it less terrifying and more awesome. I kind of feel like that sounds like I'm selling my wisdom teeth on the black market. Which I'm not.
6. "When ever I get sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome!" is from How I Met Your Mother.
7. Top 10 reasons I don't go to the gym (even though I just got a gym pass) (in no particular order)
      1. I will a soon as this episode is over (... 6 episodes later...)
      2. I can't go out in public unless I shower. Public includes the gym.
      3. Exercising is bad for you when you're sick, right? Right?
      4. What if I see someone I went to high school with?!
      5. I ate healthy (er than I did yesterday) today.
      6. I did some crunches last night, that's good enough for the week.
      7. I had to go by myself last week, now it's Kaleigh's turn.
      8. I'm just too lazy to put on shoes I actually have to tie...
      9. I haven't shaved my legs for jfdsklaf weeks.
      10. Gyms are intimidating. What if I'm supposed to meet my soul mate there!
8. There is no way I could ever meet my soul mate at the gym. I look like way to much of a freak to attract any guys.
9. There has been a walnut tree in the front yard of my parents house for my whole life. Literally, my whole life. This is the first year I have even tasted a walnut. 19 years of my life went by before I tasted one of these scrumptious nuts. Talk about time wasted.
10. I'm pretty sure my 17 year old brother has been on more dates than me...
11. I have to post stuff I wrote in high school on my blog because if I don't, then my entire blog will be full of posts like this.

Alright, kids. I'm done ranting for the night. Happy Holidays.