Friday, December 23, 2011

I will call this... Untitled.

First of all, I give you...

Top 10 reasons I DO go to the gym:
     1. I just bought a gym pass.
     2. I ate 7 sugar cookies today. That's right kids, 7.
     3. They might be playing a good movie.
     4. I just made a bet that requires me to have a 6 pack.
     5. I'll need to shower tonight anyway.
     6. I haven't left the house yet today...
     7. It's on my bucket list to run a 5K.
     8. If I'm running at the gym, I won't be tempted to order earring off Ebay.
     9. Kaleigh went alone last time.
   10. I get to wear shorts in the middle of Winter! (Lame, I know. I just couldn't come up                with a tenth one.)

Good. Okay. I need everyone to know that I experienced comfortable silence the other day. And it was simply wonderful. I think I'll not talk more often (that's probably a lie). Wouldn't it be cool if I wrote about stuff that actually mattered? I think it'd be pretty cool. Not as a profession though.

Now, for your reading pleasure...

Top 10 things you probably shouldn't know about me:
     1. I once went 3 years without going to the dentist.
     2. When I finally went to the dentist, I had zero cavities.
     3. I have a HORRIBLE gag reflex. Particularly to really bad smells.
     4. Speaking of my gag reflex, if I see an insect with more than 8 legs, I will gag.
     5. I find showering to be one of the most tedious tasks a person has to do.
     6. Fingernail polish makes me claustrophobic, but small spaces don't.
     7. Sometimes something happens to me, and then I realize it should have been on my bucket list. So I cheat and add it to my bucket list just so I can cross it off (i.e. getting my ears pierced).
     8. I eat a TON. Like, an unflattering amount of food.
     9. I used to pray that I would get bloody noses, because I thought they looked like fun.
   10. I just spent $14.00 on a pair of dinosaur earrings. And... they're studs.

I went to Temple Square last night and was tackled in the middle of the North Visitors Center. That's right, I was on the ground. (This is one of the things I really want to add to my bucket list) I was there with a camp friend, and another camp friend saw us... and then he tackled me. It was pretty awesome. I think he was trying to hug both of us at the same time, but I kind of got close-lined instead, and ended up on the floor.

Ready for another Top 10?

Top 10 things I say ALL the time:
     1. I'm so mad (99% of the time, I'm not really mad)
     2. Poop head.
     3. I'm so funny!
     4. Yeah it is/ it was/ there are/ we are... etc.
     5. Ya big weird (I got that one from my roommates Freshman year)
     6. That's so funny!
     7. Why are we not married?!
     8. Oh man.
     9. Good heavens!
   10. Any given line from Mulan.

Wasn't that just exciting! A couple days ago, I saw Santa getting chased down the street by two adolescent, unbelievably excited boys. It turns out, *spoiler alert for small children (and anyone else who believes in Santa)* Santa was my dad. 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Battle of the Disney Princesses

When I was a senior in high school, I took a creative writing class. One of our assignments was to write a letter to some one, and then write their response. The next day, we would all read our assignments to the class. Most of my class mates wrote really sentimental letters to their deceased grandparents, or inspirational letters to their role models. Me? This is what I wrote.


Dear Jasmine,
I must say, you've got a nice place here. Although, why you keep that pitiful excuse for a tiger, I will never know. That thing with be the first of many to go after the wedding. Oh, that's right, I forgot to mention, I'm getting married - to Jafar. You see, since you decided to hit the road, no one was left, besides him, to take over after dear old dad passes on. And what's a Sultan without his Sultana? Nothing. That's right hun, your little I-want-to-get-out-and-experience-the-world-like-a-normal-person stunt let this pretty little kingdom fall into the hands of what will be the greatest and most powerful Sultan ever. If we all go to hell, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.


Ta ta darling!
Yours truly, Ariel


Dear Ariel,
I have three short topics I would like to address.
1. You kill Rajah, I kill you.
2. Congratulations on the wedding! I'm glad Jafar was lucky enough to find someone as far fetched, hypocritical, and back stabbing as himself. I wish you two the best, and hope you have fun killing each other.
3. If you so much as even try to take over my father's kingdom, my BF and I will come and kick your butt. And FYI, Aladdin is macho now. Like the Hulk macho, only not green and much more attractive.


Oh, one more thing, the only ones going to hell are you and your precious fiance. So I'd watch your back, sweety.


Peace out fish,
Jasmine

Now, onto more random things... I have recently become obsessed with owl earrings. As in, I have spent countless hours on ebay today looking at owl earrings. Don't worry, I won't bid on any until midnight. I've just decided, I'm going to make a list of... things.

1. I watched all 7 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in basically 2 weeks. Season 6 made me cry as many times as it made me laugh.
2. I did SO not sleep in until 1:00 in the afternoon today.
3. I washed the inside of the windows in my car with one of those window washer things at a gas station. Best idea ever. Who cares that the guy in front of me was openly laughing at me?
4. I'm not going to school in January. I got a permanent position as a 5th grade paraprofessional at Spectrum Academy. I have never felt better about an in the moment decision. I am so excited!
5. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out some day soon (yes, I'm 20 and I still have my wisdom teeth, so what?), and I'm terrified. Although, I will be getting paid for it and that kind of makes it less terrifying and more awesome. I kind of feel like that sounds like I'm selling my wisdom teeth on the black market. Which I'm not.
6. "When ever I get sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome!" is from How I Met Your Mother.
7. Top 10 reasons I don't go to the gym (even though I just got a gym pass) (in no particular order)
      1. I will a soon as this episode is over (... 6 episodes later...)
      2. I can't go out in public unless I shower. Public includes the gym.
      3. Exercising is bad for you when you're sick, right? Right?
      4. What if I see someone I went to high school with?!
      5. I ate healthy (er than I did yesterday) today.
      6. I did some crunches last night, that's good enough for the week.
      7. I had to go by myself last week, now it's Kaleigh's turn.
      8. I'm just too lazy to put on shoes I actually have to tie...
      9. I haven't shaved my legs for jfdsklaf weeks.
      10. Gyms are intimidating. What if I'm supposed to meet my soul mate there!
8. There is no way I could ever meet my soul mate at the gym. I look like way to much of a freak to attract any guys.
9. There has been a walnut tree in the front yard of my parents house for my whole life. Literally, my whole life. This is the first year I have even tasted a walnut. 19 years of my life went by before I tasted one of these scrumptious nuts. Talk about time wasted.
10. I'm pretty sure my 17 year old brother has been on more dates than me...
11. I have to post stuff I wrote in high school on my blog because if I don't, then my entire blog will be full of posts like this.

Alright, kids. I'm done ranting for the night. Happy Holidays.

      

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Today I...

Let's play a game. It's called "Today I..." All you have to do is list all the weirdo things you did today. I'll start.

Today I...
Ran a stop sign. Hard core.
Gagged when I heard a Bruno Mars song on the radio (no joke).
Ate an entire bag of cough drops
Sang the Barney clean up song to 5th graders at the top of my lungs (they loved it! jk)
Wore the same shirt I wore last night... (that's an embarrassing one to admit)
Watched way too many episodes of HIMYM (like, 7)
Was patient (trust me kids, that's a weirdo thing for me)
Forgot my water bottle when I went to the gym
Fell in love. With Neil Patrick Harris. Even though he is gay.

Ran a stop sign. Hard core.
There was a traffic light super close to the stop sign, and traffic was all backed up. When the light turned green, I (for some reason) assumed I could go right after the car in front of me. Without stopping at the stop sign. I don't know if that made any sense, but that's how it went down. I ALMOST crashed into another car, and ALMOST called them a hoser... and then I realized it was my fault and felt like a COMPLETE idiot.

Gagged when I heard a Bruno Mars song on the radio.
Seriously. I'm soo done with Bruno Mars. And Katy Perry (I'm sorry if that offends anyone). I listen to the radio everyday on the way to and from work, and Bruno Mars and Katy Perry are soo over played. I don't gag when I hear Katy Perry, fyi.

Ate an entire bag of cough drops.
I realized after I bought them (and had eaten half the bag) that they are, in fact, throat drops. No wonder I had to eat so many before I could feel a difference. Just kidding. Kind of.

Sang the Barney clean up song to 5th graders at the top of my lungs.
They wouldn't clean up their messes and it was almost time to go home... so I threatened them with Barney. When they still refused to clean up, I had no choice but to sing the song. If I didn't, then they wouldn't take me seriously, and I just can't have that. And also it was really funny. I had to sing at the top of my lungs because they were all screaming, "NO!!!" as loud as they could.

Wore the same shirt I wore last night.
I wore a cute shirt to a concert last night, and I didn't see anyone I knew, so I wore it again today (I was only wearing the shirt for like, 2 hours yesterday) (Seriously, why am I admitting this??).

Watched way too many episodes of HIMYM.
It's just so funny!

Was Patient.
I waited for something to happen before just doing it myself. Big accomplishment.

Forgot my water bottle when I went to the gym.
Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? Because it's embarrassing. (Remember how my life is an embarrassing story?). So I walked briskly on a tredmill for 47 minutes instead of running or jogging. Hey, 11,000 steps? You bet.

Fell in love with Neil Patrick Harris. Even though he's gay.
Ali: "I love Neil Patrick Harris!"
Kaleigh: "You know he's gay, right?"
Ali: "He is not!"
Kaleigh: "Hey Cache, come here."
Cache: "What do you want?"
Ali: "What is the first thing you think of when I say: 'Neil Patrick Harris'?"
Cache (without missing a beat): "Gay."
Seriously kids, I love him.

And now you officially know way more about me than you ever wanted to, huh? (I've officially admitted way more than I wanted to...) Kbye. 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Family, isn't about ti- Dad?

Funny Story #1:
This story has THREE different background stories. No worries, it's worth it (and they're all really short (as in, like, 3 sentences or less (for each one))).

Background Story #1
My late grandpa, Charles Hancey, was in the Navy during WWII. On Veterans Day, 2010, my grandpa was in a parade in Ogden City. He stood proudly on his float, waving an American Flag, and wearing his old Navy pea coat.

Background Story #2
It has been a tradition in my family for as long as I can remember to visit my grandparents house every Sunday evening. Along with my dads brothers and sisters and their kids, my family and I would all gather in my grandparents front room for good conversation and, of course, cake and ice cream.

Background Story #3
Pea coats are making quite the fashion statement these days. Among boys and girls. As in, I got a pea coat last winter, and for his 17 birthday this year, my little brother got a pea coat.

And now...

The Actual Story
I went with my dad and my little brother to my grandma's house tonight (as per usual on a Sunday evening). As we were getting on out coats and such before we left, my dad noticed my little brother wearing his fashionable pea coat. He told my little brother that my grandpa's old Navy pea coat was still hanging in the closet in the front room of my grandma's house. As you might have guessed, my little brother definitely wanted to see it. Upon entering my grandma's house, the first thing my dad and little brother do, is riffle through the closet in the front room looking for my grandpa's coat.

"Oh, here it is!" States my dad, as he pulls the coat off the hanger.

"Wow, it's a lot longer than mine," notices my little brother.

"Yeah, and the arms are really small," replies my dad.

"Why is your dad putting on my winter coat?" asks my grandma.

The end.

Turns out my grandma's (shin length) women's pea coat was hanging right next to my grandpa's (waist length) Navy pea coat, but my dad didn't notice until he was already wearing my grandma's coat (also, realize that my grandma is a small, skinny woman... and my dad's not (it's not that my dad is fat, he's just not a small, skinny woman). It was super funny.

Funny Story #2
Kaleigh and I bought passes to the gym (I could say "the end" right there and count it as a funny story). On Saturday night, we decided we would go running (at the gym we just joined). However, before we left, we decided we were hungry. So... wewenttoCostaVidaandgotfood. We decided it would be better to eat first, then go run all our calories off. After enjoying our SALADS (that's right kids, we were healthy), we got back in the car and drove to the gym. Only to find an empty parking lot. Turns out the gym closes at 6 on Saturdays. So what do we do instead? We go to Walmart. We always go to Walmart. Don't worry, we bought healthy snacks! And, we spent at least an hour walking around, which is goo-ood! And we also read a magazine article about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart getting married (I think they should have just made the ceremony in Breaking Dawn real, but whatev's). And also, an article about Ryan Gosling (who is a complete BABE, btw).
That's the end. Okay, that story wasn't that funny... Except that it really was, because we skipped going to the gym earlier to eat. Yeah... okay.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

I've got that scouting spirit!

To understand this, we must go back in time. To YESTERDAY (December 7, 2011)
1. I work at an autistic elementary school. I love my job, but yesterday was an extremely long day. There was a situation... "and now the fist are flying and the first guy picks up a brick (and you might want to zip up the pouch for this next part)" Don't worry, there were no bricks. But there were teeth... Anyway, it was just a long day.
2. I came home from work exhausted, and snuggled up with my computer and season 1 of How I Met Your Mother.
3. I fell asleep before the episode was even half way over.
4. My dad woke me up by coming in my bedroom and dancing around in his scout uniform.
5. "Where are you going, dad?"
    "To a court of honor, Ali."
6. I was suddenly running around my room trying to get ready for a court of honor.

Moral of this story? I LOVE scouting! And I especially love wearing my uniform. I know that lots of non-scouting folk think it's weird... but I don't care. I think it's wonderful!

Funny story: So I went with my dad to this court of honor last night. As we were walking into the building, one of the scouts said to me: "Hey! You worked in the store at Camp Loll! I remember you!" You have no idea how much joy that brought to my heart. After the court of honor (which was awesome, by the way), I made my dad go somewhere really public with me so everyone could see how awesome we looked (we seriously looked so awesome). We ended up at Albertson's (Fresh Market, whatevs). My dad thought I was super weird (he didn't think other people would think we looked awesome). Well, as we were walking toward the yogurt section of the store, this lady pushing a cart stopped as she was passing us and said: "I am so impressed!" My dad told her that I was on staff at a boy scout camp (like it somehow lessens the awesome-ness of my uniform), and she said: "Still, I am so impressed! I've NEVER seen a girl in a uniform like that!" I quickly informed her that I was, in fact, a registered Boy Scout of America, and then we were on our way to the yogurt once again. Don't you see? By going to Albertson's in my scout uniform, I changed the way a woman thought about scouting. Good story, huh?

Last night I came to this conclusion: If you could look this awesome every day of the entire summer, why on earth would you not work at a boy scout camp?

And now, to support the vanity of this post...
The one on the bottom, that's my little brother. He's just funny.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Dancin' with myse-elf uh uh u-... Oh.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean the bathroom when you can't stop dancing in front of the mirror? It's hard kids, it's hard.

So, I could give this whole little soliloquy... monologue?... about how I don't want to be dancing with myself for the rest of life... but I'm definitely not going to. Because secretly, I pretty much only dance when I'm by myself. Or when I'm with Valery. Or when I'm at scout camp. And some times when I get really excited. But that's it.

I recently started watching How I Met Your Mother. And there is one episode about embarrassing moments. Now, many people know that my life is basically an embarrassing story. So much so that I don't really get embarrassed any more. And I also no longer really feel awkwardness. Because my life is also basically an... awkward story (see how awkward that was?). And it's also a lame story (that's probably a story for another time... actually it's not. It'll come right after the embarrassing and awkward stories.

Embarrassing story: I work at Camp Loll during the summer (as you may or may not already know). What do I do at Camp Loll, you ask? I am the Trading Post department head. That's right kids, I'm in charge (there's actually only me and one other girl in there (who has actually worked there longer than me), and the only reason I'm the department head is because I'm older...). Back to the story. So, every Sunday at noon, we have a department head meeting. Basically, all the department heads meet together (... obviously) and talk about their departments (I know, this is probably hard to follow). One lovely Sunday afternoon, I forgot about the department head meeting. At approximately 12:08, one of the boys on staff reminded me, "Uh, Ali? Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting right now?" Yeah, it's good that everyone on staff remembers the department head meeting... except one of the department heads. So I took off running. Now, I was in the girls cabin, and the meeting was in the lodge. Fun fact for you: the girls cabin is not that far from the lodge. How long is a football field? 100 yards? Kay, I don't even want to guess how many yards or whatever, just know: the girls cabin is not even a football field away from the lodge. I promise this will get funny (and embarrassing). By the time I get to the meeting, I'm panting. Like, hard core out of breath. I quickly take a seat next to the field sports department head. As soon as I sat down (do you like how I just switched from present to past tense? I do) the field sports director leaned over to me and asked, "Where'd you run from, the water front?" Ba-dum, ch! Because the water front is way farther than the girls cabin... get it? And I only ran from the girls cabin! Ha ha, so embarrassing...

Awkward story: I have this horrible habit of talking non-stop. I used to tell people that I do it only when I think a situation will be awkward if it is silent. Trust me, I am awesome at talking about the most random things off the top of my head. I could probably win a contest. One time, my roommate gave me a ride back up to USU from Layton. We hadn't known each other long, so that was a situation I deemed awkward were silence to transpire (that was a good sentence, huh?). The entire car ride I was talking non-stop. I kid you not, I did not stop talking for 55 minutes straight. Well, a couple of months later, after my roomy and I were better acquainted with each other (really good friends, actually), that car ride came up. Normally when I talk a lot... I realize that I'm talking a lot, but I don't realize that other people realize that I'm talking a lot. So, that car ride came up, and my room mate mentioned how weird she thought I was for talking so much. It turns out that... not every one sees silence as horribly awkward...

Lame Story: My friend Kaleigh (I can use her name because she's the one that is making me look lame here) said she found this website that let's you do the P90X video workouts for free (if that doesn't make sense, I'm sorry, I've never heard of P90X, and I've never been to the website). So she just texted me and told me what an intense workout she just did, and then she asked if I did it. My reply? "No... I cleaned the bathroom".

Oh the life I live...

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Ch-ch-ch-check it ouuuut.

(Did that come from Bill Nye the Science Guy?)

Since I have not yet posted any sort of proper review of this awesome book, go look at this one. Then go read the awesome book.

Publisher Weekly review of The Organ Donor Experience: Good Samaritans and the Meaning of Altruism


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Bored. End of Story.

I took a really long nap after work today... which means I'm not going to be able to get to sleep until like, oh, 3 o'clock in the mornin'. Awesome.

I should be doing one of the following (or more than one):

  • exercising (at 11:41 pm?! Yeah...)
  • reading my scriptures (14 pages a day...)
  • taking a shower (have I mentioned how much I hate taking showers?)
  • cleaning my room (the only time I EVER clean my room is really late at night)
  • brushing my teeth
  • getting a drink of water (my friend Valery told me that when  you don't drink enough water, you get hangnails. Guess who currently has so many horrible, painful hangnails. That'd be me.)
  • getting another drink of water
Since I'm so awesome at procrastinating (seriously, it's one of my specialties), I'm not doing any of the afore mentioned things, and instead... I will sit here and talk about nothing. 

For example: I know a lot of people who hate cop cars so much, they turn into any random neighbor hood if a cop car is behind them. Fun fact about me: Cop cars don't bother me. I passed one on the freeway today (as in, he (or she?) was going really slow, so I passed him (or her?)). No big.

Example #2: I love Camp Loll. SO much. Seriously. I could talk ALL day long about how much I love Camp Loll. I love the stars. I love going to star parties with the staff. I love living in the forest all summer long. I love that it is so cold at night, that I have to sleep with 5 blankets and a hoodie on to stay warm. I love waking up to the breakfast bell. I love scouts (because Camp Loll is a scout camp... just in case you weren't aware). I love writing letters to people back home. I love wearing my scout uniform. I love how everyone always smells like either aloe-vera lotion or bug spray. I love watching the boys on staff retire the American flag every Friday night. I love breathing fresh air. I love watching storms roll in over Lake of the Woods. I love watching people do their swim check in Lake of the Woods. I love flag ceremony. I love the camp fire bowl, and the water front, and the landing, and the chapel. I love that church is only 1 hour long (I know it's horrible that I love that...). I love that church is held outside over looking Lake of the Woods. I love that no one cares what you look like. K. If I don't stop now, then this will go on forever.

Example #3: I cut my own hair tonight. because I was bored. When I finished, I thought it looked horrible. But it doesn't, so don't worry. I cut my own hair all the time. As in, I haven't gotten my hair cut by an actual hair cutter in... like, 2 years. I convinced my friend to cut her own hair... and she cut it too short and got really mad at me. So, don't cut your own hair. Unless you really want to. I know lots of good, instructional youtube videos for you to watch. Oh! One time, I thought I would look awesome with bangs that go straight across my forehead. So I watched a youtube video about it, and then went ahead and gave myself bangs. I looked horrible. What's worse? My bangs were so short they wouldn't stay to the side unless I used gel. And then it turned out that I had the same hair gel as one of the boys I worked at Camp Loll with. Moral of this story? There isn't one.

Example #4: The only time I am motivated to do anything... is really late at night. So, I think I'm going to go to beauty school in January (maybe if I got to beauty school I'll be able to cut my own bangs without looking stupid. Do they teach you how to cut your own hair in beauty school?). The only problem is that I have yet to call the school and... I don't know, enroll. I always forget to do it during the day, or when I do remember, I just don't feel like looking up the number and taking the time to... do what ever it is you have to do to enroll. And now, at 12:13 in the morning, I find the motivation. 

Example #5: I use pinterest. Almost religiously. Almost. And there is this super funny pin I saw that I just need to share with everyone. It says: "Whenever I get sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome." Isn't that so great? I'm going to make a poster with that on it and hang it in my room. There is another one, it's one of those Fact #... whatever. It says: "2035. When your throat hurts because you were trying to sing like Adele". No joke, I do that every day. I work in Salt Lake, it's like a 30 minute commute from my house, and every day "Someone Like You" by Adele comes on, and every time, I sing along with her at the top of my lungs. Also, I recently learned that she pernounces her name 'A-dell'. I always thought it was 'Ah-da-lay'.

Example #6: I type so many things on blogger than never actually get posted because I feel like they are lame and pointless.. and this is kind of the epitome of lame and pointless... yet, I'm posting it anyways. That way I won't feel like I've wasted the past 40 minutes of my life. Also, I am officially SO thirsty. And my hangnails are really starting to bug me.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

History anyone?

In my 11th grade history class, my teacher required us to read Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech. Ever since then, civil rights has been at the top of my things-I-am-passionate-about list (right above checking the mail...). Last Spring I had to write a persuasive essay for an English class I was taking at USU. I just found it on my computer... and I think maybe some one out there has a passion for civil rights, too?...


A Call to Action

The difference between having a dream and actually making it come true is monumental. Author, Sarah Ban Breathnach, once said, “The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do” (17). Martin Luther King Jr. was such a person. On August 28, 1963, King shared his powerful address, entitled I Have a Dream, with the American people. This monumental declaration expressed his concerns about racial equality in our nation.  Dr. King began his address with words I will never forget:
“Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.
But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination.” (1)
The signing of the Emancipation Proclamation, in 1863, gave such hope to all African Americans – hope for actual freedom and equality. Sadly, this hope came to naught. It was one hundred years until that flame of hope was rekindled. In 1963, King called America to action: “Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood” (1). It has been forty-eight years since King acted on his dream, and now we must follow in his footsteps. There has been much flippancy in Utah’s public education system concerning the history of African Americans in our country. This lack of education has lead to egalitarian views of blacks as victims to America’s white supremacy ways, and a serious down play on stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination within our state today. Elementary and junior high history teachers in the state of Utah should be required to enforce a curriculum which allots a specific amount of class time to teaching and learning about civil rights in the past and present times of our country. Students should understand the problems and consequences surrounding slavery and discrimination by the time they enter high school. Doing this will allow students to be better prepared to face and end prejudice at the socially fragile time that is high school, and in the future.
            The levity with which slavery is being taught in public education history classes in Utah is a serious downfall in this state’s prestige. To demonstrate this, what follows will look into the life of a common slave, the shady dealings of the Ku Klux Klan and the discriminating symbols the KKK used to persecute African Americans, and a close-to-home example of this lack of education.
            Slavery began in 1619 when a Dutch ship traded its African American “cargo” for food in Jamestown, Virginia (Balls 2). It was more than two hundred years until President Abraham Lincoln attempted to end slavery by signing the Emancipation Proclamation; however, even the public signing of this bill did little to enforce racial equality throughout America. In 1949, Fountain Hughes, a former slave, was interviewed by Herman Norwood of the Library of Congress. This was Hughes reply when asked who he worked for when the Emancipation Proclamation was signed: “We had no home, you know. We was just turned out like a lot of cattle. You know how they turn cattle out in a pasture? Well, after freedom, you know, colored people didn't have nothing” (Norwood 2). When the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, slaves were legally free; but what good is freedom when you have nothing. At the end of the interview conducted by the Library of Congress, Herman Norwood asks Fountain Hughes what he would do if he was told that he had to be a slave again. Hughes reply is heart-breaking, “If I thought… had any idea that I'd ever be a slave again, I'd take a gun and just end it all right away! Because you're nothing but a dog. You're not a thing but a dog” (Norwood 6). Not only did the newly freed slaves have to start their lives completely over, but they also had to do it while dealing with the persecution coming from white supremacy groups.
One such group, known as the Ku Klux Klan, formed in 1866 – only three years after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed (Simkin 1). Members of the KKK would dress in all white – from head to toe, including white hoods over their faces. The sole purpose of the Ku Klux Klan was to persecute and destroy the lives of former slaves.  President Ulysses S. Grant was urged to take action against this white supremacy group. In 1871, a year after President Grant instigated an investigation, a Grand Jury reported, “The Klan is inflicting vengeance on the colored citizens by breaking into their houses at the dead of night, dragging them from their beds, torturing them in the most inhuman manner, and in many instances committing murder” (Simkin 1). After this investigation and throughout the next one hundred years, the KKK was repeatedly shut down. Shortly after King’s address in 1963, the KKK made another comeback. This time around, they became known for burning crosses on the property of black citizens. The idea to burn crosses came from Medieval Europe. Brendan I. Koerner wrote an article about why the KKK started burning crosses that was published in Slate Magazine. Koerner states that, “Scottish clans set hillside crosses ablaze as symbols of defiance against military rivals or to rally troops when a battle was imminent”. He went on to say the KKK took the idea of burning crosses and adapted it to their own situation, “Klansmen started burning crosses to intimidate minorities” (Koerner 1). On April 1, 2011, an article that was published in the Deseret News reported that three Alta High School students had been cited for sending pictures of burning crosses to each other via text message. The article also stated the school was already under investigation because of an incident earlier in the week in which a student was, “wearing a white pillowcase on his head that resembled a Ku Klux Klan hood during a spirit assembly” (Reavy 1). Recently, I had the opportunity to talk to a local high school history teacher about this topic. Concerning the incident at Alta High she said, “I asked my students if they knew why the person wearing the white pillow case over their head in the assembly was in trouble. Some of them had no idea”. 
We owe it to future generations to teach them everything that happened in the dark and blood-stained past of our country. We cannot spare any detail of the torturous times of slavery or any memory of bigotry of which we are not proud. We owe rising generations knowledge of the past in order to build a better future.
            Egalitarianism is a phrase that is becoming more and more common. According author Gary Hull, An egalitarian wants equality, not under the law, but in all practical consequences: equality of income, of praise and blame, of rewards and punishments. He derides, as "elitist" and individualistic, all rankings, evaluations, competitions” (1). Richard Rodzinski, executive director of the Van Cliburn Piano Competition said, “We must stamp out the concept of ‘better’. It should always be understood that we're not saying number one is better than number two” (1). The question is then raised: Are egalitarians correct for seeing African Americans as victims of white supremacy? The answer is no. According to Junius P. Rodriguez, author and editor of Slavery in the United States: a Social, Political, and Historical Encyclopedia, “…there were no biblical injunctions against slavery and the practice seemed to be sanctioned by scripture. In addition, those who avowed an antislavery perspective had to denounce as wrong the thousands of years of human history, custom, and tradition that suggested slavery to be a normal practice of peoples worldwide” (93). In other words, whites weren’t enslaving African Americans because they thought themselves superior; they were doing it because they had no moral injunction against it – they didn’t think it was wrong. As slavery continued abolitionists were able to stir things up enough to fuel the Civil War. This is when people should have begun to realize treating other humans as animals – just because they were a minority – definitely was not sanction in the bible. The fact that a war was required to end slavery in America says a lot about the condition of our country. Educating young students in Utah about slavery must be a careful balancing act. Utah classrooms are a mix of many races. Because of this, history teachers cannot make blacks look like victims, nor can they make whites look like heroes. Teachers must draw the line between ignorance and pure discrimination based on race.
            Alexis Herman, the 23rd United States Secretary of Labor said, “Education is important because, first of all, people need to know that discrimination still exists” (2). According to the lecture notes of Tamara J Ferguson, a professor of social psychology at Utah State University, stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination is a three-step process. Ferguson’s definition of the three states that, “Stereotypes involve generalizations about the ‘typical’ characteristics of the group; prejudice is an attitude toward the members of some group based solely on their membership in that group; discrimination is actual positive or negative actions toward the objects of prejudice” (1). These definitions basically reveal a stereotype is a thought, prejudice is an attitude based on that thought, and discrimination is an action based on that attitude. With that being said, on November 1, 2010, a study about stereotypical thinking was published on sciencedaily.com. The study was conducted by the University of Missouri and proves people who are not “trained to think in opposition to stereotypes” (1) have increased heart-rate when a commercial comes on the television featuring a black actor. Physiologically, an increased heart-rate means decreased attention levels (UMC 1). The article goes on to say people need to be trained not to think stereotypically.  A second portion of this study was conducted with people whom the University had trained to avoid stereotypes. When the physiological responses of the trained individuals were recorded while watching a black actor in a commercial, it was said their heart-rate decreased, which means they showed an increase in attention (UMC 1). Stereotypical thinking is what leads to prejudice and discrimination. Stopping people from thinking stereotypically would end prejudice and discrimination as well.
The book African American Psychology: from Africa to America talks about a different study which centers on the amygdala, an area of the brain concerned with emotional responses. The study reports when black and white people were shown pictures of black and white people, activity in the amygdala declined more for in-group faces than out-group faces. “This was seen as an indicator of heightened habituation toward in-group faces” (Belgrave 118). Basically, this study suggests white people prefer white people, and black people prefer black people. What these two studies show is America is still crippled by stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination. We continually fall into the same pattern that the American society has been following for years. Gary Feuerberg, a member of the Epoch Times Washington, D.C. Staff, wrote an article entitled, “Combating Racial Discrimination in the 21st Century”. In the article, Feuerberg reports, “In fiscal year 2006, more than 27,000 charges of racial discrimination were filed with the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) offices nationwide” (1). It is as if the color of our skin somehow makes us a different species from one another. Shirley Chisholm, the first black woman to serve in the United States Congress, once stated, “In the end anti-black, anti-female, and all forms of discrimination are equivalent to the same thing – anti-humanism”.  By properly educating elementary and junior high students in Utah about slavery, we will be training them to avoid stereotypes before they enter high school – a socially critical time in their lives; we will be ridding them of the “antihuman” thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors blockading the moral progression of the state.
The solution being suggested here is to rebuild and implement the history curriculum for grades kindergarten through ninth. Some might argue properly educating our children is not worth the amount it would cost to change the curriculum and retrain all the teachers. Others might say changing the curriculum to allow for a more proper and thorough history of slavery will take away from other important historical events. Although both those arguments are valid, they are missing the bigger picture. When we talk about educating our children, we are talking about educating the future leaders of our state and country. The future of our country deserves first-rate leaders, and those leaders deserve a first-rate education – no matter the cost. As for the second concern, implementing a new curriculum would not mean other important historical events would be taken out entirely; it simply means history teachers would adjust the timing of their lessons. For example, instead of spending an entire week teaching about World War II, the curriculum would be amended so World War II is only taught for three days which would allow for a more detailed history of slavery. That way, it is a win-win scenario for all historical events.
As demonstrated by the evidence found in this essay, creating and implementing a new curriculum will be beneficial for today’s students and for the future. By learning more about the history and consequences of slavery and discrimination, Utah’s children will know white supremacy was not the driving force behind slavery when it first started; that blacks were not victims to white domination. By teaching our children about prejudice and discrimination in the past, they will be better prepared to end prejudice and discrimination today and in the future.


Works Cited
Balls, Edward K. "Chronology on the History of Slavery 1619 to 1789." Columbia Heights Welcome Page. 1999. Web. 30 Mar. 2011 <http://innercity.org/holt/slavechron.html>.
Ban, Breathnach Sarah. Simple Abundance: a Daybook of Comfort and Joy. New York: Warner, 1995. Print.
Belgrave, Faye Z., and Kevin W. Allison. African American Psychology: from Africa to America. 2nd ed. Los Angeles: Sage, 2009. Print.
Ferguson, Tamara J. "Prejudice, Stereotyping, and Discrimination." Welcome to Utah State University. 2004. 19 Apr. 2011 <http://www.usu.edu/psy3510/prejudice.html>.
Feuerberg, Gary. "The Epoch Times | Combating Racial Discrimination in the 21st Century." Epoch Times | National, World, China, Sports, Entertainment News | Epoch Times. 5 Mar. 2007. 19 Apr. 2011 <http://en.epochtimes.com/news/7-3-5/52428.html>.
Hancey, Tracy. Personal Interview. 03 Apr. 2011.
Hull, Gary. "Capitalism Magazine - Egalitarianism: The New Torture Rack." Capitalism Magazine. Ayn Rand Institue, 11 Jan. 2004. Web. 29 Apr. 2011. <http://www.capitalismmagazine.com/culture/diversity/3417-egalitarianism-the-new-torture-rack.html>.
King Jr., Martin Luther. I Have a Dream. Washington DC, 1963. Print
Koerner, Brendan I. "Why Does the Ku Klux Klan Burn Crosses? - By Brendan I. Koerner." Slate Magazine. 17 Dec. 2002. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.slate.com/id/2075584/>.
Miller, Robert G. "U.S. Secretary Of Labor, Alexis M. Herman Explores Future Changes In America's Workforce." THE BLACK COLLEGIAN Online: The Career Site for African-American College Students. 2005. Web. 19 Apr. 2011. <http://www.black-collegian.com/issues/1999-08/herman.shtml>.
Norwood, Herman, comp. Voices From the Days of Slavery: Stories, Songs, and Memories - Fountain Hughes. Washington DC: Library of Congress, 1949. Print
Reavy, Pat. "3 Alta High Students Cited in Unlawful Acts at School amid Racial Controversy." Deseret News Online. Deseret News, 1 Apr. 2011. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705369765/3-Alta-High-students-cited-in-unlawful-acts-at-school-amid-racial-controversy.html>.
Rodriguez, Junius P. Slavery in the United States: a Social, Political, and Historical Encyclopedia. Vol. 2. Santa Barbara, CA: ABC-CLIO, 2007. Print.
Rodzinski, Richard. Personal Quotation. Web. 30 Apr. 2011.
Simkin, John. "Ku Klux Klan." Spartacus Educational - Home Page. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/USAkkk.htm>.
University of Missouri-Columbia. "'Training away stereotypes': People trained to think in opposition to stereotypes are more receptive to advertising starring minority actors." ScienceDaily 1 November 2010. Web. 30 Mar. 2011<http://www.sciencedaily.com­>

Sunday, November 20, 2011

I bet that by the end of Summer, you will be a professional race car driver.


In 2005 my dad created this thing. It’s called the 38 Days of Truth. Basically, he challenged the youth in my ward to read the Book of Mormon in 38 days. It turned out to be a huge success, and now, several other wards in my Stake take this challenge every year. I’m not going to say a whole lot about it here because I feel like so far, I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping my religious beliefs out of my blog (for the most part), and for some reason, I like it that way. You might be thinking, “Why would Ali even bring up the 38 Days of Truth if she’s not going to say anything about it?” Well, allow me to explain. I have created this fancy new page entitled: I Believe. It can be accessed by clicking on the “I Believe” tab. It’s the tab right next to the “Daughter of the Donor” tab, which is next to the “Home” tab, which is the first tab. So, if you are interested in my beliefs (or the 38 Days of Truth), feel free to check out my fancy new page.

Moving on... 
This is my
Bucket List
      1.      Change lanes on the freeway without using a blinker
      2.      Row boat ride on a starry lake
      3.      Donate my hair to “Locks of Love”
      4.      Kiss in the rain
      5.      Get something published
      6.     Ride the “Wonder Wheel” at Coney Island
      7.      Make a big donation to a charity
      8.      Enter a contest
      9.      Learn how to play the guitar
      10.  Learn all the words to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song
      11.  Ride a real roller coaster
      12.  See snapping turtles float down the Mississippi River
13.  Get my ears pierced 
14. Go an entire year without eating ANY candy

Now, you might be asking yourself, "What is the point of this?" Allow me to elaborate. Remember this post? Well, the first line of it says, "Getting something published may or may not be on my bucket list..." Now, go take a look at numero 5. It was definitely on my bucket list. That's all.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Getch-yer Craft On. I did.

I spent my weekend being crafty. Normally, I get super bored half way through a project, and I throw it in a I'll-finish-this-later pile (that only keeps growing, never decreasing). This time, however, I finished THREE projects in as many days. I was so proud. And now, without further ado (uh, I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how to spell that word, and then I gave up. So if it's wrong, forgive me)...

Numero Uno: A skirt made from a button up shirt



 Cool, huh? And I made it in one night! Want to know something funny? I sewed this bad boy up on the ground. As in, I set my sewing machine and ironing board on the floor. It required some pretty creative sitting on my part, but I got it done. And it's awesome. Here is a link to the tutorial. Although, I didn't really use the tutorial, I just kind of made it up. If any of you out there want to know how I did it, please let me know, and I will try to explain.

Alrighty, numero dos? A knitted head band.



I did indeed knit this all by myself! It took one prototype, and lots of stitching, unstitching, and counting stitches. LOTS of counting stitches. I think that is generally a pretty safe bet when you pick up knitting, though. Count on counting stitches. Every stitch. Every single little stitch. Yeah. Here is the link for this tutorial and here is a link to a knitting abbreviations guide. Because when I found this pattern, I had NO idea what K1 P2 and YO meant. If I ever make it again, I will definitely not make it as big. It kind of overwhelms my head...

And finally, numero tres = page corner bookmarks





Aren't they super cute?! I think so. Here's the tutorial. Just be careful when you make these, and be sure the glue is all dry before you use them. I know, sounds stupid... but, I used my blue monster one before it was completely dry... and it ate the corner of my book. Also, the tutorial says they made them 2.5 inches, and I made mine 2. I think they are wonderful.

PS: Just in case anyone is wondering what books I'm using these lovely book marks in...

Read them all. Except my journal. Which is super cute. And you can buy one at Barnes & Noble. (which is now one of my favorite stores). Kbye.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Puh-uhhh-blished.

Getting something published may or may not be on my bucket list, and if it wasn't before, it is now. Regardless. I came home from work today to find this lovely book on my bed. Signed. By the author. With a note to me. Because she published my poem in her book. And also, an entire chapter about my dad. Who just so happens to be the subject of my poem. See how all this fits together? The book is called The Organ Donor Experience. I have posted several times about organ donation (well, twice if you count the poem. that just got published). So I'm not going to say a whole bunch about organ donation (which I think is awesome). I will just give links to my previous posts (if you are interested). So, here is Advocate For Life, and here is Kidney Shaped Cuff Links (that's my poem that just got published). I'm really excited about this (if you couldn't tell...).

And here's some proof. Don't worry, I made all the pictures large so you could see it! Now, go buy the book, and read the book. And read my poem. Chapter 19 = Chad: Kidney Shaped Cuff Links. Page 95. I'll definitely be posting more about this book... after I read it.





Monday, October 17, 2011

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Say it with a Sean Connery accent, it sounds better. Not that it doesn't sound good with an American accent (I just had to look up Sean Connery to make sure he wasn't American - how embarrassing). Doesn't it sound intriguing? The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer, by Michelle Hodkin. Well, I thought it sounded intriguing, which is why I bought it (in hardback!) from Barnes and Noble (I had never even heard of it before) approximately (by approximately, I mean exactly) 5 days ago. And finished it in a matter of hours. It was indeed intriguing. And suspenseful. And romantic. (When I blog stalk people, and I come across book reviews they posted, I skip them. So no worries, this is all I'm saying on the matter of Mara Dyer). Here's one link, and two links; go look it up. It's awesome. (A word of caution - there is some pretty horrible language at times (now I feel guilty for admitting that I liked it...))

I work at a school called Spectrum Academy. It's an autistic charter school in North Salt Lake. I love it. The kids are all so awesome. I was working in a third grade classroom today, and a bunch of the kids pulled out these things called "speed stackers". Basically, it's a set of like, 9 cups (that was a total guess) and you stack them and unstack them. And you see who can do it the fastest. So naturally, when I got home today, I looked up speed stacking on Youtube. Seriously, who knew stacking cups could be so cool?



Also, check out this lovely blog. I have kind of fallen in love with it... A lot. Andalsopinterest.
Now, go to this blog and check out what I did this weekend (while in Logan, the city that holds my heart (weird, I know)).

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Here we go kids (and Valery)...

It doesn't have a title. But I wrote it while working at Camp Loll this summer. And I like it.

The dense forest beckons,
like a whisper on the walls of heartland.
Captured souls not begging for release,
but for infinity, for endlessness;
for truth and beauty among the stars.
And they dance across the tree tops
as the sun sets over their place of capture,
their place of longing and desire,
of forbidden and untouched beauty.
And they believe in love,
for a land of such majesty
could not have been created without it.

Photo credit given to Nathan Triplett. Yeah. He really took this. At Camp Loll.
I didn't find it on google images or anything. He is a stud. Check him out here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Mangalover20



**Also, "walls of heartland" comes from the Greenday song "Last of the American Girls". I must give credit where credit is due. I just taught 5th graders about plagiarism. It's against the law.





Monday, May 30, 2011

Portage is a pretty little town

Walking through the Portage, Utah cemetery was humbling and emotional, as all cemeteries usually are for me. I remembered coming to this cemetery once previously for my great-uncle’s funeral; however, that day was filled with sadness and grief at the loss of a loved one. This time, the cemetery seemed different. Flowers of all kinds adorned almost all the headstones, and wind chimes blew from under a nearby pine tree. A few other people were scattered throughout the small plot of land, each paying their respect to their loved ones, just as we had come to do. I watched my grandma as she tenderly stood over the grave of her parents – her expression solemn while she remembered their lives. Other graves were visited, other lives remembered, and more flowers were placed with respect on top of the deceased. After arranging the last bundle of flowers next to my great-great-grandmothers headstone, the song of the meadowlark drifted through the air, “Portage is a pretty little town”. Two, three more times came the bird’s simple tune, “Portage is a pretty little town”. And I laughed into the wind! Not because it was funny, but because it was beautiful! All the mixed emotions that had been running through me that day were evaporated by one simple tune, “Portage is a pretty little town”, and I was left with only pure joy and the beautiful song of the meadowlark forever in my heart. 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Acceptance

One day, you are at a meeting for scout camp. You're talking and laughing with people you love. Then you're driving home from Ogden, and somehow, your friend miraculously ends up right behind you on the highway. And then you are at home and your mother is on the phone with your panicked grandmother. And then you are at the hospital telling that same panicked grandmother that her husband (your loving grandfather) is gone. And then you are driving back to Logan for school, but you're crying so hard that you can barely see the road. And once you are back in Logan, you can't even go to your classes because the grief and sadness is all consuming. And then a week goes by and you're standing next to your grandfathers casket - saying goodbye to one of the best people you've ever known in your whole life. And you can't stop crying because you're sad and because everyone around you is crying. And you can't remember the last time that you weren't crying. And then a month goes by and you don't even realize it. And your dad wears your grandpa's old suit to church. And you spend the hardest night of your life with your now widowed grandmother in her now much emptier home. And life has gone on. You've paid the bills, passed three exams, and written too many papers to count. And the next day you go to Institute and your teacher has everyone in the room write the name of a loved who has passed away on the white board. And you watch a movie about Jesus Christ and the Atonement. And you're crying again. And the end of the movie shows people in heaven touching Christ's hands and smiling because they are happy! And then you realize that your beloved grandfather is among them - the happy, smiling people surrounding Christ. And you can finally stop crying because you know that your grandfather is happy and that someday, you - and all of the people you love - will join your grandfather among the happy, smiling crowd at Christ's side.





Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I eat chalk

I got to use my brand new carabiner last Wednesday when I went rock climbing with Steve Houston (who, by the way, is an awesome rock climber)! It was so exciting! And my carabiner is awesome. And so is Steve. Okay.

Don't worry, I don't really eat chalk. One of my high school English teachers does, though... However, I do draw with chalk! Instead of spending Saturday in solitary confinement, I spent it lounging in the sun and drawing with chalk along side my roomie (I would have said, "along side Allie", but that could get confusing) and a million other people in our ward. SIDE NOTE: Allie and I (see, confusing!) participated in Relay for Life Friday night(forward slash)Saturday morning (5:30 pm - 8:00 am). And back to chalk: So, there was this huge group of us just hanging out in the sun and drawing with chalk. It was like I was five again! Except... I guess college students are more artistical (is that even a word?) than five year olds. Okay, the whole reason I'm writing about chalk is because I drew a super cool picture (except, it's more of a design... or something). And I already know how un-humble and vain I am about it... I also already know that un-humbleness and vanity are not good qualities. Trust me - I'm working on those. Well, without further adieu.... 




PS: it rained THAT NIGHT(forward slash)and the next day and it washed all the chalk away! In honor of the rain, I give you...
  The Beauty of Rain

Slipping down the mountains, hills, and roofs - 
forever and ever, down and down,
cascading into the unknown.
Each one landing where none has before.
They fall, and this is the beauty of flight.

Every drop bouncing gracefully onto the pavement,
mimicking its brothers.
The slide with practiced ease over the rough surface
until coming in contact with each other.
They dance, and this is the beauty of movement.

Landing on trees, cars, and tongues - 
creating their own personal rhythm and voice.
Each unique sound coming together
in an unwritten symphony of whispers.
They sing, and this is the beauty of rain.

**I wrote that bad boy for a creative writing assignment in high school.

Oh, after we drew with chalk, we went to Angie's and cleaned TWO sinks. You want to know something funny? There were SEVEN of us that went to Angie's - FOUR girls and THREE boys. The girls were as follows: Allie, Ali, Jessi, Jessi! (That's how we were sitting and everything!). Isn't that funny? PS: I look awesome (which is secret code for horrible (just keep in mind that I had been drawing with chalk right before this)) in both of those pictures. But how I look is not the point. The point is that we cleaned TWO sinks. After we ate two plates of nachos. Yeah, deliiish.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Five Stages of Grief

Sleep has become an impossibility. It's the one time during the day that I don't have anything to distract me. Memories of my now late grandfather consume me and I am racked with pure grief. I try to pull myself together long enough to get at least a few decent hours of rest, however, when that finally happens, my unconscious is completely enveloped by scenes of death and fear. When I'm laying in bed, undistracted by room mates and school work, that is the only time this seems real to me. It's the only time I actually realize that my beloved Grandpa is gone.

~*~

Psychology tells us there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Denial is something I understand; it's something I felt during the first few hours of his death. It's something I continue feel when I see pictures of him - so alive, so well. Denial is my favorite of the five stages. It's the one emotion that makes me feel better. If I'm able to convince myself that it isn't real, then I can make it through each day. Denial doesn't work at night though. No, bed time is when Anger comes in. Anger towards the doctors who couldn't save him; anger towards God for taking him away from me; anger towards my Grandmother for wishing she could've gone with him. Anger towards myself for not being able to control anything - not even my own emotions.

I can't bring myself to bargain with God for my Grandpa's life. It makes me feel cheap - like I didn't do enough while he was still here to keep him here; like I know that it is already too late to work - or maybe I'm just afraid that it really will. Bargaining makes me realize all the things I regret - all the things I feel guilty about - like not making sure he knew that I loved him; like breaking promise after promise to spend the weekend with him and my Grandma; like moving away to go to school when I could've been here spending time with him.

Luckily, the extent to which I am sad more than makes up for my lack of bargaining. The sadness is all consuming. I think that denial, sadness, and anger go hand in hand. Right after I convince myself that he's not gone, I realize that he is. Sadness is the reason I can't sleep. The emotion engulf's me to the point that I can't breathe or move or do anything other than lay there and cry - and then I get so angry at myself because I can't stop crying. All I want is acceptance. All I need is acceptance.

Acceptance is the Mother Land. It's the one stage that I don't cycle through day after day. I want to be done denying his death. I want to be done being angry at everyone for stupid reasons. I want to be able to control my own emotions again. I want to be done being sad. I want to be done crying myself to sleep night after night. I want to accept the fact that my Grandfather is gone. Not forever. No, not forever - just for now.

Tonight and tomorrow morning, I will be attending the viewing and funeral services for one of the best men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Perhaps after tomorrow, acceptance will come a little easier.


Charles Ray Hancey (1925 - 2011)


OGDEN - Charles Ray Hancey, 85, died Saturday, March 19, 2011, of causes incident to age.
He was born May 8, 1925, in Hyde Park, Utah, to Florence and Leander Hancey. As one of 11 children at the family home, he was not a stranger to hard work. His earliest job was herding cows with the help of his dog, Token, and helping to grow much of the food for his family. Though a lifelong resident of Ogden, Cache Valley was always home.
Along with two brothers, he was drafted into the United States armed services and served honorably in the Navy during World War II in the South Pacific. He was one of the "Greatest Generation" to love his country and fight for peace. His service to the United States continued as a civil servant working for the Internal Revenue Service for 33 years.
Chuck loved all sports but was especially fond of playing, coaching and watching baseball. He took great pride in his careful, manicured yard and garden. Despite some recent serious health issues, he always had hope for the future as was evident in the flowers seeds he ordered just a few days before his passing and the hundreds of tulips, daffodils and crocus planted last fall that are just now emerging.
He was a lifelong and faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served with absolute honesty and integrity in many ward and stake financial clerk positions. Most recently, Elder and Sister Hancey served as missionaries in the genealogy department in Salt Lake City. His posterity would all agree his greatest church service was as a husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather and patriarch to the family he cherished. "When such a father from us departs, we hold forever in our hearts - a sweet and hallowed memory, bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee."
On Feb. 8, 1952, he married his eternal companion, Zona Allen, in the Logan LDS Temple.
The eternal legacy of love and family he started lives on in his wife, Zona; children, Shauna (Dave) Christiansen, Ogden; Jana (Craig) Manscill, Lindon; LaRaun (Dave) Nielsen, Harrisville; Heidi (Lyle) Bauer, Calgary, Canada; Chad (Tracy) Hancey, Layton; 28 grandchildren and 23 great-grandchildren.
He is also survived by his brother, Maurice Hancey, and sister, LaFaye (Wayne) Bankhead; two brothers-in-law, Jim Morgan and NaRae Ormond; and three sisters-in-law, Pat Hancey, Rosalie Hancey and Jackie Hancey.
He was preceded in death by his parents, three brothers, five sisters and twin granddaughters.
Funeral services will be held Friday, March 25, at 11 a.m. at Rock Cliff 2nd Ward Chapel, 1000 Suncrest Drive, Ogden.
Family will meet friends at Lindquist's North Ogden Mortuary, 2140 N. Washington on Thursday from 6 to 8 p.m. and Friday at the Ward Chapel 9:45 to 10:45 a.m.
Interment, Lindquist's Memorial Gardens of the Wasatch, 1718 Combe Road, South Ogden where Military Honors will be accorded by the Combined Veterans Honor Guard.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests financial donations be made to Primary Children's Medical Center.
Send condolences to the family at: www.lindquistmortuary.com.

In these next couple of days, we will not be mourning his death; we will be celebrating his life and his legacy.